Bliss(ters)

This week let’s dive into the concept of bliss in relation to leadership, both for individuals and organizations. In today’s fast-paced, hyper-connected world, it's easy to chase after opportunities and activities that we believe will bring us joy or success. However, this kind of bliss tends to be fleeting, requiring ever-increasing doses of adrenaline, intensity, or novelty to maintain it. Yet, when we look back at these moments of so-called bliss over time, we often realize they didn’t bring us sustainable success or true happiness.

Now, think about the experiences you’d describe as “defining moments” – those that transformed your beliefs, approaches, and perspectives, and ultimately led you to a deeper, more lasting happiness and success. More often than not, these moments weren’t blissful at all. They were challenging, painful, and at times, filled with struggle and discomfort. But they also led to incredible growth, long-term positive impact, and true fulfillment.

What do I mean by “blisters” in this context? They’re the marks left by growth, the result of pushing through discomfort, difficulty, and pain. When healed, blisters leave us stronger and more resilient. They prepare us for even bigger challenges ahead. In leadership, tackling the tough challenges that give us blisters is far more beneficial to both individuals and organizations than chasing after the easy, blissful moments. The pursuit of pure bliss doesn’t prepare us for the future; it’s discomfort, the challenge, and the growth that do.

Of course, while the pain of blisters is inevitable, there are ways to minimize the negatives and still reap the rewards of overcoming challenges. Think of the impact of leadership like climbing a mountain. To tackle the summit, you need preparation. You need the right tools, the right mindset, and the right support.

Let’s talk about tools first. When climbing a mountain, you need a strong yet flexible rope – one that doesn’t easily fray but can be cut when needed, one that can withstand the challenges of the climb. A good rope is made up of many individual threads, woven together to handle various situations. Leadership is the same. To lead effectively, you need a set of traits that can be interwoven to allow you and your organization to perform at your best. Three essential traits to develop are: relationships, resolution, and resilience.

Let’s break them down:

1. Relationships – Can you build genuine connections with a wide variety of people, in diverse situations? Communication is important, but the ability to establish mutual understanding, curiosity, trust, and empathy is crucial. Ask good questions, listen with compassion, and understand where others are coming from.
2. Resolution – Can you resolve conflicts and bridge divides between differing perspectives? You’ll need creativity, humility, and the ability to resist the urge to assign blame. Resolution isn’t just about solving problems – it’s about navigating tension, sitting with discomfort, and making sure accountability is maintained. You may also need to instigate conflict, pressure, and intensity while simultaneously providing support and comfort.
3. Resilience – Can you keep pushing forward in the face of obstacles? Resilience isn’t just about toughness or grit. It’s about discerning the real issues, staying patient, and making progress even when it feels like you’re facing a brick wall. It’s about creating the conditions for "yes" and influencing those around you, even incrementally. You will also need when to quit, stop taking action and put your talents to a different purpose.

But tools alone aren’t enough. To truly lead to achieve impact, you also need a strong heart. Leading with your heart means bringing Empathy, Kindness, and Gratitude (EKG) into everything you do. These qualities provide the stamina to keep going, even when times are tough, and allow you to use your leadership tools with confidence. When you combine the right tools with a heart full of empathy, kindness, and gratitude, you’ll not only reduce the negative impact of blisters but also make a lasting, positive difference in your life and the lives of those around you.

So, prepare yourself and embrace the challenges ahead. Seek out the opportunities that will test you, that will stretch you, and yes, that will give you blisters. When you look back, you’ll feel immense pride and joy in the growth you've experienced, and you’ll see the lasting positive impact you've made on your organization and your world.