In The Blink of an Eye...

Son -

It’s almost unfathomable…when I wake up tomorrow, you – my first born – will be 16 years old. I don’t know what’s harder to believe…that you are 16 or that I am the parent of a 16-year-old. Where did the time go? You’re starting your sophomore year of high school in less than a week…in the blink of an eye, you’ll be heading off to college. Let’s see if we can pump the breaks on the next few years from passing us by so quickly, okay?

As you’ve been growing up, our relationship has changed. You may not remember, or you may not want to remember, but there was a time when you wouldn’t leave my side. You always wanted to do something with me. Even if it was just to sit and watch TV or a movie. Now we seemingly just pass each other through the house in between time when you’re in school, when you’re practicing or playing soccer, or when you’re hanging out in your room watching TV, keeping up with your friends on social media, or playing the latest and greatest game on your PS4. We are still close – at least I hope so – but it’s “different” now. I’m not as cool, or as larger than life in your eyes as I once was. I suppose it’s to be expected as a father when his son grows up.

Anyhow, one of the greatest things I’ve ever done in my life is coach you. I’ve always tried to coach in a way that the X’s and O’s and strategies can be taken from the court or the field and be applied to ALL aspects of your life. Well, here are some more coaching tips – more suited for your continuing growth into a young man. Let’s not get it twisted, I haven’t been the best at following everything I’m about to say…but my job is to push you to be the best version of yourself imaginable…and I think you knowing and understanding what I’m about to say will help you do just that…be the best YOU that you can be, today and every day.

First and foremost, always put family first. Never take your family or time with them for granted. A sad part of life – family members are gone before we are ready. Tell your family you love them every day because a day will come when you won’t be able to…and that is the worst.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what you decide to do when you grow up. Whatever you decide to do – today, next month, next year, etc. – be proud and do your best, even when nobody is watching.

LISTEN. You’ll be very surprised at all the things you can learn when you truly LISTEN.

Don’t tolerate people pushing you around or using you for their own personal gains. Know when to tell someone “No”. Stand up for yourself, and stand up for your beliefs, even if they aren’t the popular opinion. Stick up for yourself. Stick up for others that can’t stick up for themselves. Never make fun of people, and never judge someone…until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, you have no idea what struggles they face.

Value the opportunities given to you. Never take them for granted. Earn them all.

Read. Learn. Explore. Repeat.

Go the extra mile to be polite. Open doors for people. Say yes ma’am, yes sir, please, and thank you.

You’ve sadly already experienced this, but some people are going to be jerks. They are going to hurt you. Never hate them. Start understanding that you can’t control how others act; BUT, you absolutely can control how you respond to them. Never – EVER – give people the power to control how you feel or how you act.

Lead, and lead by example. Don’t expect someone to do something that you aren’t willing to do yourself.

Let the Lord in. Make time for your faith. Wear it on your sleeve. Carry it with you always. Most importantly, live your life by it.

Learn that you’re entitled to nothing, and you are owed nothing. Whatever it is you want, work for it. Sacrifice for it. Go out and do it. Again, EARN IT.

You won’t win them all. Be humble in victory, and gracious in defeat. But when you lose, or when you fail – GET UP. Always GET UP. Someone once told me that losing, failing, falling down – that’s all ADVERSITY. But GETTING UP is character. Adversity will ALWAYS reveal someone’s character.

Listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s not.

Understand the value of unanswered prayers. I have prayed countless times for what I thought I needed or wanted. The majority of the time, not getting what I thought I needed or wanted was an immeasurable blessing.

When it comes to relationships, follow your heart. Never play games. Always be respectful and a gentleman. Be yourself. Understand that no means no – period, the end. And a little secret for you – a sense of humor goes a long way.

Some of the most power words in the universe are “I’m sorry” and “I love you”. Only say them if you wholeheartedly mean them, and wholeheartedly mean them when you say them.

You will be judged by those you hang around. Pick a good tribe.

Always tell the truth. Always take responsibility for your actions and words. Never blame others for your own shortcomings. Admit when you’re wrong…there is an undeniable strength, grace, and power when you do.

I’ve coached this to you and many other young people over the last 7 years…attitude and effort are priceless. Any game, any test, any situation in life is made or broken by how you approach it and what you put into it. Stay positive. Work hard. Things will work out for you in the end.

I’ve saved the best for last. And also the most important. There is always sun shining behind the darkest clouds. No matter how bad things may seem at any given time, never, ever forget that the world is a better place with you in it…and I’m a much better man than I ever could have ever imagined to be because of you.

I’d be remiss not to throw at least once line from a song or quote from a movie or TV show in here – so in the immortal words of Jim Hopper from Stranger Things, as you continue this epic journey of life, “please, if you don’t mind, for the sake of your poor old dad, keep the door open three inches.”

Happy birthday.

I love you. Always and forever.

Dad