Blinded by Empathy

I recently read a fascinating book that challenges the way many of us think as leaders.

It’s called Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion.

The book argues that empathy can lead to biased, irrational, and even harmful decision-making, advocating instead for rational compassion as a more effective guide for moral choices and actions.

While I’m not yet convinced that every act of empathy is harmful—in fact, it’s still quite important for a leader to understand and use empathy to connect with others who are struggling (I wrote about this HERE)—there are several ways empathy can sneak up on a leader and really mess with their decision-making, potentially causing further suffering for those they lead.

Here are some examples:

• A bishop may be blinded by empathy when he gets too close to witnessing the actual suffering of a family. He may be too quick to offer ongoing welfare support when, in reality, the family may need to make dramatic adjustments to their financial lifestyle.
• A leader can be blinded by empathy when a youth leader who is creating a negative experience for youth needs to be released, but the leader is too worried about offending the person or experiencing emotional blowback.
• A leader may be blinded by empathy when they spend disproportionate amounts of time with individuals experiencing intense challenges, neglecting other important responsibilities and people in the organization.
• A leader can be blinded by empathy when they hesitate to recommend the covenant path to an LGBTQ brother or sister because they’re worried it will cause more pain than redemption.

This reminds me of a quote by Anne Morrow Lindbergh that perfectly explains this leadership experience:

“My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.”

When we see pain and suffering up close, we can’t help but try to make it go away in the short term rather than offer more rational compassion for the long term.

It’s one more example of the impossible nature of leadership.

However, we need to carefully consider how empathy might be blinding us or causing us to create more unintended suffering.

Others have already started to comment on this message HERE.

Sincerely,

Kurt Francom, Executive Director, Leading Saints

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