Blind Spots - Why Are You Stuck and What To Do About It?

Ever feel like there is an invisible force holding you back, or better yet, holding you Stuck??

You’re not wrong … and I’ve been there.

In fact that was me a few years back.?I had just lost my second startup, this time to a motorcycle accident, but it was again, at the "tipping point" of success. We were right there, had our best month ever, almost six figures, and then bam.

I ended up in the hospital for a week, then bed-ridden/wheel chair/crutches for 6 months, and another 18 months of surgeries, PT and recovery. All the while, I had the privilege of watching my company go from cash flow positive to the red almost overnight, and lost everything … again. Key word again.

You see my first startup was a colossal success - well it was going to be. We had raised money at one of the most difficult times in history, the fall of 2008. So while Lehman Brothers was imploding and Bank of America was too big to fail, we raised over a million dollars. The buzz and excitement was palpable, and then within a few months, the floor dropped out. The CEO we brought on during funding, was stealing. Stealing to the tune of $400K in cash, and then siphoned off hundreds of thousands more through unknown “contractors”. When we discovered it all, it was too late, and I went from a net worth in the 7 digits, to being in the hole hundreds of thousands - so that was fun!

And I know what you’re thinking … how are these two startup experiences related? Well, before both of these, I had started a number of mini-things, experienced success, and then when they were about to blow up, they blew up.?

It was a pattern. But more specifically a program. I just didn’t understand why. You see, whenever I would get close to success, at the tipping point, I struggled. I struggled with follow through, with trusting my instincts, and a crippling fear of failure which led to self-sabotage and a self-fulfilling prophecy.??

And I finally figured out why. It was a Blind Spot, a program hiding in my subconscious, learned as a kid and repeated over and over, leading to a string of self-sabotaging behaviors.?

Let me explain … my dad was loving, he was kind, and he was a dreamer. He also struggled with self-doubt, follow through, and a fear of failure. So when I was growing up, he’d have these grandiose ideas and excitedly tell us kids how this product/company/idea was going to change all of our lives. Without fail, within months, it would fail to meet expectations, and he'd move on to another idea. He had amazing resilience, but lacked the fortitude to drive success.

I remember this one time when I was 7 or 8, a “Tonka” truck backed up to our house and left hundreds of 5 gallon buckets full of tire sealant in our driveway.

Another time when he was between jobs, he came back from Houston with the car loaded up with perfume knock-offs that were going to sell like hot cakes. How? He hadn't figured the distribution part out yet, but they were going to sell.

Both of these ideas took up space in our garage, in my parents relationship, and then in the dumpster. And these are just two of many “entrepreneurial” ventures my dad threw thousands at but never quite translated to success.

Now let me be clear, I don't blame him. I love that he was adventurous and entrepreneurial, he inspired and programmed me to think outside the box. But he did pass along the other part of the program, that said, "success will be short lived, be prepared for it to fail, it will".

This led to my imposter syndrome among several other limiting frameworks. Thus whenever I experienced a taste of success, I was looking for the other shoe to drop. That energy and vibration then drew sabotage to myself and my companies.

Can anyone else relate? Ever feel like insecurities, lack of self belief, fear of failure, and imposter syndrome are plaguing your present, creating glass ceilings, damaging relationships, adding anxiety and stress, thus limiting your future??

Yup.

So today I am going to share with you the secret to discovering your blind spots, so you can start to do the work of diffusing them.?

It all starts with one of the core elements to my work … TRIGGERS. A trigger is just an immediate negative emotional response to some form of stimulus.?

Maybe it’s a colleague who’s always late to your meeting, your partner not replacing the toilet roll, or someone not turning right on a red. They come in all forms.?

And I know, I know, many think that triggers are synonymous with a four letter word … oh and I agree … just not the one that starts with F, but the one that starts with G, they are a GIFT.?

Why??

Because triggers tell you two very important things that help you identify your blind spots.?

1. What you Care about, because if you do not care, you are not triggered.?

2. What’s the Program behind what you are feeling.?

So every time you are triggered, stop, and ask yourself … Why does this bother me??

Recognizing that there is some belief about yourself that is being challenged in that moment, thus triggering this response.?

You see, when you are triggered, you are on a superhighway. There is one entrance, one exit and it all happens in a millisecond. What I help people do is create space, so that when you’re triggered, that millisecond is stretched to a second or two, so you can look for other off-ramps, ones that serve the best version of you.?

These Blind Spots?… they are simply programs from the past, repeated over and over and over, stored in your cache for quick access, that do not serve your adult purpose. It’s like running Excel 2004 on your brand new MacBook Pro … how do you think that will work out?

And yet you are allowing this blind spot (Excel 2004), the program from your past, to dictate your present, and limit your future.?

So what can you do??

Step 1 - Journal:

?Start to journal every time you are triggered. I personally do this in my notes app on my phone. Here's what I write:

• DATE - TRIGGERS
• Time
• The thing/person/situation/phrase that triggered you

Step 2: Become a Detective:

At the end of the day, you want to review all the triggers from the day. And become a detective. And for each trigger ask yourself these two questions

1. What's the belief I have about myself that is being challenged in this moment?

2. What's the program?

Here's an easy example:

1. What's the belief that's being challenged here? Easiest way is to pay attention to the thoughts you have about them ... and it's usually the opposite.

• They are selfish, rude, egotistical.
• They think they are more important than me.
• They think their needs and time are more important than mine.

So the opposite of all of that would be, "I am important".

2. What's the program?

So the value that's being challenged is "I am important". Which means somewhere in your past you started a program that said you were not important. Can you remember a time in your past where you felt unimportant? Irrelevant? Insignificant? And then go back to the earliest memory of it. This is the program.

But knowing is not enough. You must have a mind and body connection. You see thoughts are for the brain, experience is for the body, but without connecting the two, you will never have transformation. So now you must connect the brain with the body. A great way to do that is through meditation. I have an incredible meditation that I can send you for this exact thing, called the alchemy meditation. If that's of interest, send me a message or visit my website and ask for it.

Viktor Frankl said ... there is a space between stimulus and response, and in that space is freedom, it’s the freedom of choice.?

It's time for you to start to get freedom by diffusing the programs from your past that are dictating your present and limiting your future. And it all starts with triggers.

And if you are interested in my full program, grab some time on my calendly, and let’s discuss further.?

Author: Deano Sutter :: Deano Sutter Coaching