The Blind Spot Mirror

Who am I?

Who am I? What drives my behavior? Why do I get angry at something, and why do I feel very happy at something very trivial? What do I want to become?

These are some of the questions that have crossed my mind many a times, but the answers I have had so far in my mind seem very superficial or like a 'trained' response from years of training and experience in corporate life), not the kind I can associate with on a deeper level.

Have you ever tried to introduce yourself to someone without referring to your past accomplishments, positions you have held, institutes you have studied at, companies you have worked for, etc,.... just narrating who you really are?

Now, why am I talking about this?

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been attending the program The Art and Science of Coaching by Gaurav Arora, MCC (ICF) , which has encouraged me to look deeper inside myself. Every theory, framework and practice sessions in this program helped me to be aware of myself, my environment, my values that I live with, the 'Why' behind my behaviors and actions, and many more.

In the process, I have realized that most of the times we say what we say, we do what we do, we listen what we listen and we live our life the way we live without really knowing who we are and why we did/say/behave the way we did..

Feels like a tongue twister :)

Let me put it simply - If we are aware of our values, skills, triggers, emotions, fallacies, etc. – this awareness gives us power to understand who we are in a particular moment, what we are doing in that moment and whether the 'being' and 'doing' are in sync. Makes sense?

Let's take 'anger' as one of the emotion that we all experience in our lives. We can't control that emotion, but if you are aware of the trigger and can sense that you are angry at a particular moment, you can control your reaction...

Trust me, this synchronization of 'being' and 'doing' is very powerful and it creates magic, something, that we have experienced in our coaching journey...

But How? That's where a Coach can help and be that 'thing' that increases our visibility into ourselves.

What's that 'thing' the Coach can be?

Metaphorically, I feel that a coach is like the “Blind Spot mirror” in our car window,

• which holds the "space" for us to make us fully aware of our journey, the "road", the "objects"
• which helps us to change "lanes", navigate through "narrow lanes", "park safely",

and

• overall be aware of our "surroundings", especially things that are "closer" to us, but we are not aware or lost visibility

In the winding roads of our life, we need someone to be silently holding the space for us, making us more aware of why / where we are going and helping us navigate our own path..

As Dr. Marilyn Atkinson, founder of Erickson Coaching International and designer of the Coaching training program “The Art and Science of Coaching,” said in the podcast with Gaurav Arora, MCC (ICF) , “Self-trust” or Inner Trust is key to opening more possibilities for ourselves. Every human being has immense potential and, mostly, has the means to achieve what they want to achieve, but it’s the lack of awareness and inner trust that holds them back.

Metaphorically speaking, the small blind-spot mirror can make a big difference by giving us visibility to our unknowns - which are there, but we are not aware.

As a coach, we need to be that mirror, intrinsically hollow but wholesome, completely present, and showing the exact reflection of what we are seeing, sans our own “spots” - interpretation from our point of reference.

What’s Next?

Dr. Pat Williams, Inaugural member of ICF and an accomplished Coach, had aptly said in the podcast that “Compassionate Curiosity” is one of the most important aspects of an effective Coach. Dr. Williams further stated that “The human in me” should be connecting to “The human in you,” and that’s when magic happens. I think this applies not only to coaching but in every aspect of our life and hence it’s so important to be aware of who we are.

If I look at it objectively, it is me who I must live with until I die. So, it’s better to know and embrace my true self, be compassionate to myself and have the self-trust that whatever happens, I will figure things out. I have so far and will in the future as well.

Let me be just me…

Then the real ‘me’ meets ‘you’ where you are...

That's the Coach I need and the Coach I will be...

What’s your metaphor for a coach?