The Blessings of Autism: Insights from a Life on the Spectrum (Part 2)

It is challenging for many people, especially those on the autism spectrum, to share personal experiences publicly. We highly value our privacy. In our minds, there is often a disconnect between our personal lives and everything else we do. I am still trying to understand why this is so. It seems that different aspects of our lives occupy distinct mental spaces, for example: one for friends, another for work, one for family, and another for love.

As long as these mental spaces remain separate, we thrive and give our best to each area. Sometimes, one space may dominate the others—like when we fall in love or start a new project—taking up more of our time and energy. We are fine as long as these spaces do not blur together. But when they do overlap, a problem in one area can disrupt all the connected spaces, sometimes to the point of paralysis.

"The spectrum is not a fixed point: we move up and down the autistic ladder throughout our lives based on things like our support system, changes in our routines, and even global events."

For many of us on the autism spectrum, it feels like we share an unspoken set of rules that make it easy to understand one another in our crowded world. The level of empathy, admiration, and respect that connects autistic people is truly special. It is particularly strong between a child and their immediate family: parents, brothers, and sisters. For me, the connection with my younger brothers is incredibly powerful, even though we live very far apart.

Scientists see autism as a spectrum, but I think they will eventually realize that autistic people are more alike than different. In fact, every autistic person I have met throughout my life shares remarkably similar personality traits and behaviours, regardless of their development, maturity level, or upbringing.

This does not mean that there isn't great variability in being autistic. The current spectrum is not a fixed point: we move up and down the autistic ladder throughout our lives based on things like our support system, changes in our routines, and even global events. Yes, the world around us and daily events actually affect us—a devastating earthquake halfway across the world can impact us as much as if it happened to our neighbours or loved ones who live right down the street.

Many parents, loved ones, and scientists who study non-speaking or minimally-speaking autistic children wonder what we are thinking about and if we understand what is happening around us. I want to assure every one of my opinion: the answer is a resounding yes, we do understand. We understand more than you might think.

My older brother once reminded me of an incident from when I was minimally speaking. I have always admired my younger brother's ability to charm a room with his storytelling and humor. After he told a funny story that made everyone laugh, I stood up and repeated his story word for word. While I rarely ever spoke, everyone praised me by saying "good job." But it was their shock and confusion, instead of laughter toward me, that caused me retreat and not speak again for days.

Still, I understood what was happening...

When I was not speaking, I was in a state best described as wondering, marveling, daydreaming, or meditating. I believe, like other autistic children, that I was fully aware of my surroundings and conversations. As children, our young brains struggle to differentiate between important and unimportant information. Today, I can vividly remember my early experiences as a mix of images, feelings, and sounds, rather than specific words or photographic memories.

Autistic children are also natural meditators. Our state of mind is similar to that of a Buddhist monk who has spent years training to achieve a level of serenity that comes quite naturally to autistic people like me. As we grow older and the world becomes louder, we crave a serene state. This why we sometimes struggle to re-engage with the world after periods of quietness.

The time I spent in this meditative-like state as a child helped me process and organize the vast amount of information my young brain was absorbing. I was fortunate that my parents understood this need and created quiet spaces around our home where I could retreat and decompress before rejoining them.

Today, meditation comes naturally to me. I practice it multiple times a day to help navigate our busy world and manage my workload.

In closing, and until my next post, I encourage you to create spaces for autistic individuals. Let them wonder and daydream. It's an essential part of how we process the world around us.

It is, what make us, us.

Written by M. Hamid, Edited by D. Ruttenberg

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DISCLAIMER: The information above is my personal journey and experience, provided for informational purposes only. YOU SHOULD NOT RELY ON THIS INFORMATION AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR, NOR DOES IT REPLACE, PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT.