Blessed are the gamers, for they shall inherit the earth.

Last Monday morning I had a surreal experience. Half an hour away from a Zoom meeting, I could hear the boys getting into it downstairs. Specifically the big kid was barking at the little kid. I stuck my head down the stairs and called, “Hey! You boys have to keep it down, I’m going to be in a meeting in half an hour!”

There was a pause and then big kid called back, “Yeah. I’m IN a meeting and Julian is showering right next to my head!” Another pause, bathroom door opens, and little kid, Julian, calls out, “I have to shower now! I have a meeting in 15 minutes!”

I had nowhere to go from there. Parenting as I had known it was officially over. 

“How is it being at home all the time?” I asked Julian, 11 years old, that afternoon. I was getting ready for an empathetic, emotionally intelligent, active listening moment, a chance to be candid about fears, frustrations and insecurities. “It’s fine!” he announced cheerfully, blowing up every talking point that I’d planned. Because here’s the thing. While I struggle to figure out where my next contract is going to come from, business is booming around here. For the 11 year-old. How is that possible? One word: Fortnite.

Last week, I spent a few hours working with Fortnite support guy, Carlos, to get Julian’s banking information set up so Epic Games can direct deposit to that account. You see, Julian has been accepted into the Support A Creator program. My limited understanding, after researching enough to know this wasn’t a scam, is that players who create content can be in the program and other players can donate cash to them when they buy stuff in the game. I’m sure there are a zillion corrections to that short synopsis (and you gamers, please correct me below!) but all I know is that five U.S. dollars at a time, my boy could earn more money in April than I do.

Last night, at 9:50pm, Julian gets a text from his Fortnite partner in crime, Will. The text is brief and to the point, “Call me. We have to talk.”

I try parenting again. “Julian, you can talk to Will in the morning. It’s quiet time.”

“Mom,” Julian says to me seriously. “I have to talk to Will. Auditions for our clan start at 9am tomorrow morning!”

Once again, I’m stumped.

What’s a clan? It’s a group that plays together on Fortnite and other players can audition to be a part of it. Will and Julian’s clan, Syfx (no idea how to pronounce that), has quite the following. Their promo video, below, has generated more than 100 applications. Their accompanying Tik Tok videos get thousands of views, hundreds of likes. “Keep up the great work!” gushes one fan.

“How do you decide who gets to be in the clan?” I asked Julian.

He was quick to answer, “They have to be a little bit better than Will and me and no toxic behaviours.” Uh, hello. That’s a leadership post.

“How do you judge toxic behaviours?” I asked him.

“Well, trash talking is one,” answered Julian. “Trash talking is toxic.”

They ran two rounds of auditions yesterday. Ten players auditioned, only six made it into the clan.

“What did you say to the other four?” I asked him.

“We just tell them that they did well and they should keep playing, keep trying and eventually they will find an even better clan than ours.”

Auditions for Syfx have been running today. Will and Julian started at 8:45am. It's three hours later and Julian just came upstairs looking for a snack.

“Hi Mom! We have four members already. Three didn’t make it.... Hey! Did you eat all of the chocolate Digestives?" Yes, Julian, Mom did. While the world as she knew it was shifting beneath her feet, she ate them all.

I'm booking more meetings for Monday. The pressure is on. I have an 11 year-old to keep up with. Or I could always audition for Syfx...

https://vm.tiktok.com/tQmsb2/

*Author's note: I had to edit this article because I quoted Julian as saying he had 40 members in three hours. In fact, it was 4. Goes to show you how discerning they truly are... and how little I understand about Fortnite clans!