To Be A Blank in A Pandemic

Two weeks ago, I shared a thread on LinkedIn and Twitter called To Be Human in a Pandemic. It was inspired by the feelings I had, my team had, and what I had been hearing repeatedly from leaders and companies we support. This thread went viral on the platforms (oh, the wonders of social media!) These ideas resonated globally from the US and the UK, to Canada and Africa and beyond. Messages poured in with the same themes: 

• People are suffering in silence. 
• We think we are the only ones still suffering, still feeling uneasy
• Many people are just as nervous about returning back to 'normal' as they were when things suddenly shut down
• The emotional fatigue, outbursts, exhaustion, and worry are still present even as we have figured some things out.
• We still have moments of suffering, but our suffering feels very unique

This last point really hit home for myself and the team. While COVID stopped some aspects of life, many other themes of life still happened. Babies were born, new jobs began, parents passed away, students graduated, life-changing diseases were diagnosed. And so it created this chasm of a unique experience for each of us. We aren't just in a pandemic. We aren't just humans in a pandemic. We are a business owner in a pandemic. We are a single parent in a pandemic. We are a cancer survivor in a pandemic. We are a caretaker in a pandemic. We are a student in a pandemic. We are living alone in a pandemic. We are getting married in a pandemic.

And so while the world is experiencing something on a collective level, it may not feel that way because our individual experiences are so vastly different. There are so many qualifiers that alter how we feel, think and act right now. All of these characteristics can make it feel like we are alone on an island. It might feel that no one else can relate to how you're feeling because they aren't experiencing your unique set of circumstances. 

I think these islands of isolation present a really beautiful opportunity. We can stay on our individual islands, holding our individual experiences close to our hearts. Or maybe, we can shine a light on what it feels like to be a (fill in the blank) in a pandemic. Maybe we can share our fears, worries, and vulnerabilities as well as our hopes, joys, and celebrations. And maybe these conversations can create a bridge between our islands. Perhaps we can discover that there are other people out there that share our unique set of circumstances; their island looks very similar to ours.

And so, We want to introduce a new campaign: To Be A ________ In a Pandemic.

We are encouraging each of you to share your story. We want to create connections and validation. We want to continue to remind you that you are not alone, and what you are feeling is OK from the good to the hard. There are a few ways to do this: 

• Share your story on social media and tag @SarahNollWilson and use the hashtag, #tobeablankinapandemic. You can also download the image above (right click to download to your computer) to share with your story. There is no right or wrong way to share. Write what you feel. Write what's close to your heart.
• If you don’t use social or prefer to share anonymously, you can email your story directly to me – [email protected]. We will share on your behalf while honoring your experience.
• You can also participate in the Pandemic Journaling Project from the University of Connecticut. They are building an archive of stories to document and research the unique human experiences of the pandemic.

A couple of my team members crafted their pandemic stories. The following are Rachel and Kristin's stories respectively. 

"To be a cancer survivor in a pandemic. This feels like deja vu. This feels vastly unfair. I spent much of 2019 in a chemo quarantine and spent countless days on the couch dreaming of what I would do in 2020. And here I am...again, on the couch, watching the days slowly tick by. I used up all of my resilience to fight for my life. I fought hard to travel, to date, to run marathons. And now, I'm tired of fighting. I'm scared I won't find my person. I'm bored and ready to flee. I'm anxious that the healthy years of my life will be spent within the four walls of my house. I'm angry that I'm healthy and can't live like a healthy person. But I'm also aware that a year of chemo quarantine prepared me for this. I'm aware that fighting cancer gives me a unique mentality. I know that I should feel grateful and lucky, but most days, I question why I fought so hard for this future."

"To be a new mom in a pandemic. Almost 4 months ago, my life took a new direction and changed forever. On a wintry afternoon in March, I became a first time mom to a beautiful son. Little did I know that the most exciting time of my life would soon turn into grief as things weren’t going to be the way I had envisioned them. Being a new mom is exhausting and overwhelming and causes a lot of anxiety. But being an isolated new mom in a pandemic heightens those feelings tenfold. The offers from friends and colleagues to help out are now void as we all isolate and protect our health. My husband and I both have parents who live overseas. I'm saddened that their first look at Mason was through FaceTime video. I'm heartbroken I can't have the planned support of my mom by my side for a few weeks. Though Mason is a bundle of joy to me, I can't help but feel exhausted from the situation we are in."

Our hope is that this campaign creates connection, catharsis, reflection, and healing. It's an act of bravery to reflect deeply and then share your story. You are brave. You are loved. You are supported. You are not alone.

Originally published in Sarah Noll Wilson's Weekly newsletter. Read the archive of past newsletters and subscribe to receive it in your inbox every Friday.

?Sarah Noll Wilson is on a mission to help leaders build and rebuild teams. Her goal is to empower leaders to understand and honor the beautiful complexity of the humans they serve. Through her work as an Executive Coach, an in-demand Keynote Speaker, Researcher, soon to be Author, Sarah helps leaders close the gap between what they intend to do and the actual impact they make. Working with CEO's, HR leaders, and organizations that care deeply about their employees and understand the connection between employee development, employee satisfaction and organizational success, Sarah specializes in transforming relationships from good to great.