#BlackLivesMatter. Why we MUST talk

I wasn’t going to write anything, not because I’m not deeply affected by what has happened/what is happening but because I believe actions are louder than words. 

However an ex colleague of mine reached out to say she was disappointed that I hadn’t spoken out and I have been thinking for days what I can say that adds value or makes a difference and I realised that no matter what, I had a duty to give a voice to those who feel unable to speak or if they did, their words would go unheard. 

I have worked on various diversity committees in my time in employment and my sadness is usually that those in the room are already believers. We constantly preach to the converted, whether it’s through political opinion or religious belief. This is why movements exist. They exist to change the opinions of those that have an alternative view. They exist to alter institutional behaviours and they exist to shut down the kind of aggressive intolerance we’ve all frankly had enough of. 

But what I’ve learned the most in these diversity groups, as a middle class white male, is that I am often unsure how to communicate and I am fearful of saying the wrong thing. So I say nothing. And I've come to realise nothing is more harmful than anything. Nothing is why nothing changes. Nothing is our silence allowing established repulsive behaviour to persist so we need to come together and say something. 

Something that is honest, true and authentic. Something that represents our individual values and speaks to indifference and intolerance. And that something can just be “how can I help”? That something can be “I want to learn more”. That something can be “What changes can I make that will help move society forward”. 

We are hardwired for negative bias which is our tendency not only to register negative stimuli more readily but also to dwell on it. We are also hardwired for fight or flight, the body's most natural survival instinct which creates a stress response. That means anxiety, negativity and sometimes hatred is a far easier and natural path for us than the alternative. It is easy, natural and comfortable to sacrifice yourself to your wiring. It is very hard to resist it and re-create the wiring so that your natural response is love, kindness and self worth. That's why you are reading this now and distancing yourself from those thoughts. So the #BlackLivesMatter movement is essential not only to draw awareness of what's going on now and has been going on for centuries - this institutional behaviour. But also to look inwardly at ourselves and re-frame the way we think.

Movements frustrate me. They always have. Not because they don’t serve a purpose and achieve more than any modern politician does in a lifetime. But because the vast majority of movements shouldn’t ever need to exist. They are, when you think about it, ridiculous. And when time moves on and we look back, it’s in disbelief that we ever allowed women not to vote, or that black people didn’t have the same rights as white people or that the LBGT community had to fight for their own rights. Hatred, bigotry, intolerance and racism in any form is not only wrong but it diametrically opposes our greatest human strength. Our ability to love. 

In this time of global change be it environmentally, socially, economically or via a pandemic where our perspective on what is important is changing, and the things we value in life are becoming clearer, we MUST use this as an opportunity to re-enforce our strengths and extinguish societal weaknesses such as intolerance forever. We must come together as one global nation, embrace change and embrace each other, even if it’s socially distanced. I believe we are on the precipice of change and that can be a very positive thing. But we may also see a lot of anxiety, a lot of people with more questions than answers and a lot of anger. I promise to listen, to empathise, to communicate and to love for it is our greatest strength. And please tell me HOW CAN I HELP?