The bitter seed that kept me awake all night! - In New York City!

Should I sleep never to wake up again?

That was the question that haunted me that dreadful winter night in 2019!

I was visiting New York City and had an important client meeting the next day. As was my routine, I would take the train the New York from Boston the previous night, check into my hotel, try and squeeze a run at the Battery Park, go out for dinner at one of the awesome Indian restaurants on Lexington avenue, have paan and head back to my hotel.

This time too, everything went as planned! The train came to New York on time, I had an amazing view from my hotel room and it was unseasonably warm and I loved the run at Battery park! I went to Pongal, a south Indian restaurant on Lexington Avenue, and had my regular, Idli, Vada, and Dosa and a bowl of hot rasam! Yummy!

After dinner, it was time for paan. But wait! Charlie Paan is closed! Oh no! Charlie Paan is closed for good! I asked around and someone told me that I could find paan at the Indian grocery store close by. I went to the Indian grocery store and miraculously found a pre-made paan. I browsed around for goodies and found a bag of almonds. Now, the almonds that are imported from India taste different than the California almonds. They are smaller and taste much richer and has a mild bitter taste to them. I remember cherishing almonds I could have with my parents' permission when I was a kid. They were super expensive and my mom would store them on the top shelf to keep them out of reach!

These almonds were much smaller than the ones I had in India and definitely smaller than their Californian cousins. I came back to my hotel room and gazed at the amazing view of New York from the 24th floor. It's true! New York never sleeps and I couldn't either. I pulled up my laptop and started working on a long due project. An hour passed by and I started craving for a snack. I pulled out the bag of almonds and started munching.

When I had the first few, I was super thrilled! All my childhood memories of almonds came rushing! These almonds were also different. Rich, very bitter, and packed with flavor. Wow! I never had anything like these before. There goes a few more, a few more and half a bag was gone in half-an-hour! Where are they from? These taste so good!

I looked at the bag which had a fine print that said. Product of Iran. Imported!

Ah, that explains it! India gets a lot of nut imports and these nuts must have been imported into India from Iran and now made it here! Then I noticed something else.

The front of the bag had a picture of apricot and it said "Apricot kernels"

What? I have been eating Apricot kernels thinking they were almonds? Silly me! I started getting curious. What are these? Who eats them? Why have I not had these before? I immediately googled and came across the Apricot Kernel Wikipedia page

When I read the entry, panic struck!

It is known for containing amygdalin, a poisonous compound... potentially toxic or lethal when taken by mouth, due to cyanide poisoning

What? I have been munching poisonous nuts for a while?

There was even a recommendation The Food Safety Authority of Ireland advises consumption be limited to one to two kernels a day for an adult!

Now I was panicking. I checked the bag. Half was gone. I must have had 30-40 nuts in the past hour!

I wasn't feeling sick but I didn't want all of this to end like this! Sri Krishnamurthy, founder of QuantUniversity found dead after eating Apricot seeds! A true newsworthy item for a gossip magazine for sure!

When you are expecting the ultimate truth, flashes of life comes in front of you. All the things you have done and all the memories! All the things you wanted to do but never could do! All the things I have the potential for but will never be fulfilled because of a bag of nuts! Then I started wondering..what will my daughter think of me when she grows up?

Dad ate poisonous nuts and died?

What will my students taking my course think?

Prof.Sri, couldn't resist Apricot nuts and ate so many that he died!

Oh, what shame! Somone would be writing my eulogy:

Sri was nuts about nuts and he did the nuttiest thing ever!

It was already midnight and dreadful thoughts kept coming. Should I go to an emergency room? Should I wait it out to see if I start having symptoms? Hmm, Google doesn't tell me anything about things to expect when dying by Apricot seed poisoning. Am I the first one ever? Now that wasn't the record I was aiming for! I decided to give it one more hour and if nothing happens, I will sleep! I waited and waited till 1.00 AM!

Still no symptoms. I am fresh as a daffodil and wide awake! Maybe these are slow-acting Apricot seeds. The cyanide is being released slowly and it will sneak up on me! Let me wait for one more hour if there are symptoms! I waited for a bit and started feeling drowsy! Is this the symptom? Drowsiness at 1.00 AM? Should I call 911?

Thoughts kept coming and then.. ZZZZZZ

I woke up around 7.00 AM fresh as a daffodil! I checked my pulse and it was there! I am still alive! I jumped with joy. Few times have I been more excited to wake up than that day!

Maybe I was immune to Apricot seeds! Maybe I am superhuman! Who knows? I dressed up, got my cup of coffee and breakfast, and headed to my client meeting. As I took the New York Subway, uptown, I recollected the panic and all the thoughts I had the previous night.

As I hopped out of the train and headed out, I couldn't help but notice the extra spring in my footstep!

It was just me acknowledging:

It feels so good to be alive!

This is a part of the #50ExperiencesToRemember series. I will be sharing one experience every few weeks. Travel, food, life are common themes and this is an attempt to remember the experiences that I have relished and would like to share to relive those experiences and keep the memories fresh!

If I run out of places, I know it's time to travel which I am desperately waiting for this year!

Sri Krishnamurthy