Birthdays are a time to say thanks to all!

This picture came from the cover of a box of eggs-but, it's pretty remarkable in asking "are we practicing awareness towards human sustainability?" It's a worthy question for all of us and for me . In thanking everyone for kind birthday wishes, I am left with questions of relevance as I contemplate my next years of coaching practice. The??challenge is how to offer wisdom and hope in these times of challenge. In today’s fast moving world we need to distinguish between information and wisdom . Intelligence today is more than “just” about “information”.???Intelligence today is about the application of??wisdom which requires awareness and discernment..??It implies??a requirement to be courageous in the face of the unknown, vulnerable to??the possibility of failure and reflective to our on-going learning. The pressures on those in leadership positions “feels” exponentially greater than ever as we “know” the risks to well-being, of ourselves and our world, feels more urgent.???In the face of new ways of being, working and engaging-what can “guide us”.??Some thoughts on this 4th?of July:

1.??????Allow more gratitude: recognition of existential remarkableness and wonder in your life.??Gratitude has been shown to elevate one’s mood and lead to lowered stress measures.??But, recent research on the experience of “awe” is worth understanding.??Awe induces a sense of wonder that is attached to life-changing moments such as a dazzling sunset, a birth in one’s family, a reprieve from illness, or invitation to something that is life-changing.??This sense of wonder energetically??shifts us into a larger space of enlarged gratitude that encourages a??“rewiring” of our thinking to incorporate surprising uncertainty.??This also??enlarges our thinking and our heart energy,???More can be learned about this from my??Heartmath.com colleagues-but, I like to encourage more easy access to the small moments that embrace awe-the early morning walks, the beauty of large magnificent wildlife, the laughter of children at a playground, a surprising idea that opens a doorway to new possibilities.??Gratitude and awe are??good for one’s health , capacity for innovation and equanimity. It may seem “small” at the beginning, but as a practice,??our bodies relax and our heart??energy expands to such practice.??

2. Listening is more powerful than we thought:???In our covid re-emergence, we are hearing stories of how deprived people felt from interpersonal exchange.??More important that telling people the answers, listening involves??giving space for others to be invited to speak with the additional present of feeling heard by another.??Furthermore, listening to others creates the space for “reflective conversation” where the speaker hears themselves being listened to which enhances greater self-understanding.??In our fast moving world, this experience of being listened to is one of the reasons that coaching as a profession has literally been jet-propelled in its power.???If you find it hard to listen, learn to strengthen your listening muscle by asking others to speak as you listen.??You may be surprised at how grateful others will be with your listening.

3. Invite a larger??perspective that will send a message of understanding:??Emotions are easily triggered, in a negative way,??when people’s point of view are challenged.??“Perspective” is the essential issue behind most conflict.??Recently, I was explaining developmental theory as located on this??issue of perspective-that the higher one’s self-development, the more perspective(s ) a person can tolerate seeing/hearing.??It is not easy, but even if the perspective of another person is different from our own, the attempt to offer understanding is the first step towards a relationship of possibility. You can test this muscle by asking for the way others “see” the situation.??If you hear something different than what you see, your are hearing a perspective difference.??The task is then to invite explanation.??The invitation is, “help me see” what you are saying.??And the invitation needs to be offered, in a non-challenging manner, with the energy of "interest" so that the perspective feels invited.????I like quoting Einstein who says, “everything is relative” to explain why I wish to understand another person’s perspective. It's worth the effort and is always a bridge to understanding.

4.??Have a purpose larger than yourself:???Recently, a business leader I know decided to make a major donation for a sports medicine department after that hospital rebuilt his shoulder.??Sure, he had the wealth to make that happen, but, the bottomline is that he took this action and the results surprised him.??While still “a young”, senior citizen, he suddenly felt the relevance of being actively involved in another project that benefited so many others and he felt what the power of generativity could do for the world around him.??Despite his previous??business success, suddenly, he is experiencing the kind of social satisfaction that comes from bringing one’s gifts to others.??This “gift-giving” created more joy, even well-being for him and his partner and they are enjoying the benefits of feeling more connected with their community.??The question to consider is, “what actions can we take that?will benefit others???For some those actions may be large-but for others, it may be the small action of helping an aging neighbor, or watching someone’s?children?for a few hours.??The idea is to offer one’s value to others and feel the value of giving.

5. Equanimity and acceptance:??A buzzword in our workplace and our world is “mindfulness” and that is because it is all too easy to be reactive.??Equanimity is about maintaining calmness and evenness of temper, even in challenging moments.??And that takes a kind of practice that means we need to respond thoughtfully to challenging situations rather than being “reactive.??The father of positive psychology, Viktor Frankel brilliantly wrote that ““between stimulus and response there is a space.?In that space is our power to choose our response.?In our response lies our growth and our freedom”.??What I think helps is to become an observer of one’s emotions and to practice self-compassion.??Recognize??that getting upset or irritated is normal, but how we react to such challenges is under our control.??Inviting awareness is the essence of mindful practice and we can practice noticing our strong emotions and taking of 3-5 breath practice to slow down and choose how we respond.??Rather than be an impulsive reactor of undesirable emotions, we can practice pausing and choosing how to respond.??The benefits are so beneficial to building greater interpersonal trust and also will enhance well-being?

America and our world are facing new crisises but also new opportunities. I am grateful to all my colleagues who share these life-improving practices-but really, I am even more grateful to myself and all who practice these small practices that make our lives and our world safer and more trustworthy.