A Birthday Reflection: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

I feel like I’ve been living in surreal chaos, in a dream that I can’t wake up from, and I flash back to Charles Dickens’ Dystopian world from A Tale of Two Cities.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” - that describes my year in review.

Never before have I felt the duality of extreme highs and extreme lows (that have pulled me nearly to breaking point) as what I’ve felt in the year gone by. I have endured amongst other hugely conflicting experiences (either first-hand or in my immediate circle)...

• The immeasurable joy of the birth of my baby boy, tempered by the unbearable pain of death at our family doorstep
• Being blessed with plenty of opportunities to celebrate, diluted by the isolation of having to do so remotely, or the thought of how inconvenient it is to deliver my good news to family and friends who are in poor health and just trying to survive, or suffering the grief of burying a loved one
• The blossoming of new relationships, in contrast with the immense strain of relationships breaking down
• At times feeling isolated and alone with a yearning for some social comfort, whilst almost schizophrenically feeling a desperate need to set boundaries, to be alone and to preserve and restore energy

And so, on my birthday, I want to hold space for the big emotions I've felt, I feel and I will feel, and part with some ‘Notes to Self’:

#reflections #celebratelife #holdspace #Iamenough