Birthday Lament

After sleeping in this morning, my youngest son reminded me that today was my brother’s birthday. He also pointed out that my brother died on his birthday.?

My youngest son has autism. He wouldn’t be able to comprehend the fact that my little brother, the uncle he only had until his 10th month of life, committed suicide, and I would never attempt to explain that to him. He does know that Steve had troubles and wasn’t well.?

My middle brother died 29 years ago from actions he took clear out in the middle of nowhere; hunters found him by accident a couple of days later. He was, at once, the last one anyone would have expected to kill himself, and the most likely person in sight to commit such an act.

I knew next to nothing about mental health then. I knew how to get in trouble three decades ago, but it would be years before I’d hone the outside-the-box problem-solving skills I currently possess. (Bring me a mess and I’ll get you some kind of solution.) If I would have been then who I am now, my brother would still be alive and, presumably at my direction, on another path.?

If you are depressed and/or engaged in substance abuse and no one is catching how close to the edge you are, point it out to someone. Talk to anyone who might be able to help.?

For those who remain, such a loss never gets better. For those in trouble or hurting, problems have solutions.?