Birds of a feather flock together

Investing in yourself is inextricably linked to the company you keep. The old ‘birds of a feather; flock together’ couldn’t be accurate when it comes to taking a hard look at the people you to choose to spend time with. Given, we can’t choose our family; what we can choose is the way we engage with family members to ensure healthy, mutually-beneficial exchanges centred on openness and authenticity.

Finding your tribe is about truly getting to the core of who you are and learning to attract and cultivate relationships with people aligned to your personal values. Living your best life will involve some major weeding and pruning to ensure you produce a luscious oxygen-inducing garden-of-eden instead of a twisted, barbed thorn bush. If you’re truly ready to ‘do the work’ – and self-improvement is a process – you can reap the reward of peace of mind!

Slash & burn the Energy Vampires – Any exchange with another human being that results in you feeling emotionally drained, takes a cumulative toll on your well-being. Don’t get me wrong, we have a duty to support one another – the barometer for health for any relationship is centred on energy exchange – if there are individuals in your life who take far more than they give, you are likely dealing with an Energy Vampire. Look hard; I believe we can all spot (at least) one person in our life that perpetually sucks our positive energy and fails to replenish what they take from us. This is not your tribesman; make plans to protect yourself by implementing (what I like to call) a slash & burn operation. Trust me, it makes all the difference.

Rekindle & Revive old allegiances – While you look around, it is equally important that you recognise the gems in your midst. Make deliberate efforts to acknowledge, invest and cherish the sparks in your life that keep you radiating positive vibes in your broader circle of influence.

Diversify your Portfolio – by swimming against the tide you may be pleasantly surprised what you will discover. Courage and a sense of adventure are the name of the game as trying new things can be undoubtedly daunting. The unfamiliar makes us nervous in a way that’s hard to describe. The act of leaving our comfort zone puts us in a vulnerable position, and leaves us with an onslaught of questions running through our heads. We ask ourselves: “Should I be doing this? Can I do this? Do I look stupid? What am I doing!?” While it may not feel like it, this is normal—and it’s good. Lest we forget that a better version of yourself waits at the edge of your comfort zone; and with a better version of yourself you will undoubtedly attract new people into your life.

Follow your passion – let the activities and causes you are most passionate about lead you to your tribe. If you are an avid footballer it’s likely that you will draw your energy from being around fellow players, where relationships will tend to extend off the pitch. I have found my tribe with the Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO) where we connect through our thirst for learning and grow our businesses, improve our family life and focus on personal development to make a mark in society. There are several established groups that may tickle your fancy and inevitably draw you closer to people of your ilk.

Be extremely picky – While pickiness is often misconstrued as an arrogant trail; being selective in how and who you invest your energy in is critical for your own protection. We wake up each day with a bucket full of energy, we expend it gradually through the day on family members, friends, co-workers and all the miscellaneous exchanges we face daily. When you expend unnecessary energy on people unworthy of your time/attention you end up in deficit. The more meaningful people in your life will lose out on the best aspects of you; but more importantly you will feel drained and worn out having depleted your energy reserves. In future, don’t forget to keep the door firmly locked, when the Energy Vampires come knocking… 

Twitter: @MirandaNaiman

[Published in The Citizen, Tuesday 8th May 2018]

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