The Biggest Tool I Found to Fight Anxiety

Deep breathes.

As I have shared in this newsletter before, my anxiety and OCD has long been triggered when I'm in situations in which I feel "trapped," if I don't feel like I can just stand up and leave. Three years ago I couldn't sit in a meeting, drive in a car unless I was behind the wheel, go to a theater or sporting event and not sit on the aisle ... anything that involved not being able to immediately escape the moment and be on my own. Mini panic attacks — flushed, dizzy, all over the place. It was simply awful.

Therapy, medication and learning useful tools to help subside intrusive thoughts all has helped tremendously. But nothing has helped more than simply talking about it with others. Whether people have given me an I've-been-there nod and affirmation or simply just sympathized, I felt a relief immediately when I just talked about it. It lifted the power of irrational fear.

So when I found myself leading the opening keynote panel at the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) beside musician Master P and MLB star Adrian Gonzalez, on stage in front of 400-500 people in a packed auditorium, it became quite a symbolic moment for me: speaking about mental health while simultaneously dealing with my greatest mental health struggle.

Oh boy.

I couldn't escape the stage and moment.

There was no where to go.

So I used the same tool I was speaking to: I opened up about it.

"My anxiety is a feeling of intense panic when I feel trapped in a situation," I told the audience. "Like this one. On this stage. Not being able to simply leave. But now that I've told you all, and we are all here for the same reason, if I do walk off the stage you're all going to be like, 'good for you, Jimmy.'"

The audience laughed. I laughed. I felt relief.

The panic never came up again. Phew.

It was my moment to test everything I had been working on and it was successful. It was also the theme of our conversation. The more we open up, the more we can find healing and the more others can begin to feel comfortable being open as well. The effect of it is a web of people learning how to be vulnerable and the continued normalization of mental health struggles.

Do not hold it in. Talk about it.

Percy Miller (Master P) opened up about how the all-too-soon loss of his daughter who dealt with mental health and addiction issues has led him to dedicate the rest of his life to spreading to others that simple need to just open up, trust and talk to others. Don't feel shame. There is zero shame. We all walk in it.

Adrian spoke to the evolution of his openness around mental health despite the long-time stigmas in the Hispanic community, especially among men.

I got to share my personal experience with anxiety and the love and acceptance of those in attendance was incredible.

We all need people we can be real with, and share our inevitable waves of pain, anxiety or depression. There is zero regret in being honest with what we're walking through. It’s always love you’ll receive back.

And if you don’t have someone you are ready to be vulnerable with, and you feel like you need to talk, it's easy to call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. There's no shame in that either.

Do not hold it in. Just talk.

- Jimmy