The biggest mistake

Most professionals fail to create an incredible, healthy, nourishing relationship simply because they make this ONE mistake…

They don’t believe that their love life is something that they can really ‘solve’ or ‘work on’, nor do they believe that there is a real solution when things aren’t working (apart from more dating apps, putting themselves out there more, going on even more dates, and just waiting for the ‘one’ to show up).

So, on a subconscious level, they feel stuck and a bit lost. They feel out of control and probably a bit vulnerable, so they try to avoid the pain of their unfulfilling love life by throwing themselves into what they can control - their work, their hobbies, and distractions (holidays, date nights, wine, food, whatever it is).?

They tell themselves that it’s fine, it will figure itself out, and they don’t need to worry about it quite yet because it’ll just work out eventually, right? The ‘One’ will show up when the time is right…right?

But when things don’t seem to get any better, and time keeps passing, years keep adding up, these distractions only add more fuel to their sense of discontent, disheartenment and disappointment.

And every day, month and year that passes by without progress becomes more and more painful.?

Now, I'm not saying working hard, focusing on your hobbies and finding happy moments in your life doesn’t work. It’s honorable, great stuff. And you can be proud of your success.

But here's what society fails to tell you:

These external things are all short term, ephemeral dopamine hits that will keep you living a shallow life. These will keep you living a life of ‘doing’, producing, grinding, creating. They keep you from living a life of ‘being’.?

And finding the ‘One’ requires you to first become the ‘One’ yourself - which means you have to do the inner transformation, go on that inner journey, and take action.?

You cannot just wait and hope for it to happen to you.?

I’ve said it a million times before: Amazing relationships do not land on your lap. They don’t land on anyone's lap. You create them.

And the truth is, even if you DO find someone great, there’s absolutely zero guarantee that they will be a long-term, healthy, lasting match for you if you don’t know what or who constitutes that long-term healthy match.

(Personally I think it’s incredibly easy to get married, to get engaged, to find someone. Very easy. What’s hard is making sure that they are the RIGHT person, the one to go the distance with. And that requires real discernment, self-awareness, self-knowledge, growth, and deep, deep, deep intimacy).

To create an amazing relationship requires you to get to work. To do that inner transformation. To get on that train of ‘I’m not going to settle, I’m not going to be passive, I’m not going to be a victim and wait around for things to happen to me, I’m going to pull my finger out, be an adult, and grow into the type of person who has healthy, secure, long-lasting, nourishing relationships’.?

So the reality is, when you’re feeling a bit bad about your love life because it isn’t working out for you as much as you’d like it to, focusing on your career, hobbies, friends, the gym, your dog, your Paleo diet, whatever the heck it is….to make yourself feel better, is a short term fix. Some would even say it’s self sabotage.?

Living like this is a sure fire way to keep real intimacy, real happiness, and genuine, authentic, fierce connection at bay. Connection with yourself, and connection with others.?

You will never find true, spiritual fulfillment this way.?

You will never find true happiness this way.

Nice holidays, date nights, building your career and focusing on your friends are all things you do AFTER you’ve tended to your relationship with yourself.?

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And the beautiful irony is that the more you tend to your relationship with yourself, and develop deep, rich, embodied intimacy with yourself, the more you expand your capacity to develop deep, rich intimacy with your (future) partner. Quite easily, quite effortlessly.?

And when you have this foundation, a nourishing, healthy, secure, home for yourself, in your heart and in theirs…

That’s when the rest of the accomplishments and accolades, the career, the money, the home, the adventure, the travel, the aspirational living starts to have substance, starts to have depth.

That’s when the high-flying career has a real purpose, when the financial gains can be truly enjoyed.?

Not when you’re alone and telling everyone that you’re fine and things are ‘okay’.?

(Stick with me, and I'll explain what you should be doing or just click here if you’re already convinced)

If you're still trying to find a life partner, what you really need is:

?? A CLEAR AND SYSTEMATIC WAY TO DO THAT INNER TRANSFORMATION ??

You need an effective way that will take you through the necessary steps (that we all have to go through), where you can learn the tools and techniques, grow accordingly, practice, and integrate a new way of showing up in a nice, chronological, easeful, methodological way. So you’re not scrambling around in the dark. So you’re not throwing tons of money at random therapists or reading a million self-help books or trying every modality you can get your hands on.

But listen…

Even if you think you're not a very systematic person and you don’t know how you feel about a methodology —having a strong process to follow with some tried-and-tested best practices will ALWAYS be helpful.

And so here's how I was able to quickly grow from feeling disheartened and broken after calling off my first engagement, to meeting my husband just 11 months later:

I used "the Ultimate Match Method!" And I still use this approach to deepen my own relationship with myself, and with him every day.

I use this approach for several reasons:

1?? It's Systematic, Structured and Methodological

I spent 15 years scrambling around doing all the retreats, trying all the therapy modalities (I’ve done CBT, IFS, NLP, Hypnotherapy, RTT, EFT, EMDR, Somatic, Marital therapy, Hakomi therapy, plant medicine, I even became a mindfulness teacher and ICF Coach). I worked with multiple (extremely high-ticket) coaches. I attended various teacher trainings. I read hundreds of self-help books and even talked to the authors. Yet in all of this, I found healing to be chaotic, unstructured, expensive as hell, and exhausting. I’ve now taken the best bits of the most proven practices, created a logical chronological order to them, and built a nice, seamless, end to end system to take you from point A (feeling disheartened) to Z (feeling successfully in love - with yourself, and with your partner).

2?? It’s Only Got The Best Techniques?

There are so many techniques and tools out there. Trust me, I’ve tried them all. In my methodology, I’ve plugged in ONLY the best ones that I know WORK because I’ve tried them, they’ve worked for me, they’ve worked for my clients, and they create transformation - fast.

3?? Throughout, It Helps You Become More Secure

You probably hear people throwing around attachment theory like it’s never going to go out of fashion. And it’s true, it is important. But the bedrock of attachment theory isn’t really anything radical - the overarching idea is that we have to be securely attached to ourselves to have healthy relationships with others. Now, attachment therapists and practitioners can make it look extremely challenging to do this. Which, sure, if you’re taking the chaotic approach it can be.

But the way I’ve structured my methodology is so that from Day 1, you are working on becoming more securely attached. Easily, organically, and without effort. If you follow all the stages of my 12 stage methodology, and apply yourself, you WILL become more securely attached. And we only talk about attachment work in one of the stages. The whole program is about becoming securely attached - which really, is the crux and goal of any therapeutic initiative.?

If you're unsure how to do all this, I've got good news!

I'm teaching a FREE Masterclass where you'll learn how to go from feeling disheartened and struggling in your love life, distracting yourself with work and whatever else it is that brings you comfort…to feeling in control, accomplished, and successfully in love.?

And you'll get your hands on the exact 3 Phase methodology my clients & I are using to keep deepening that intimacy, and creating better and better relationships.?

It’s all happening LIVE on Thursday, February 29th at 12.30pm ET Time / 5.30pm UK Time.

You can learn more & sign up for free by clicking below:

I DESERVE A BETTER WAY >>>

Katarina x?

P.S. If you skipped to the bottom, here's what you missed:

For the first time ever, I'm putting on a live masterclass at the end of this month. This is a rare opportunity to learn how to:

• Take the 3 MUST-DO steps we ALL have to take in order to find meaningful, long-lasting love and learn how you can avoid becoming another person that gets divorced years down the line
• Discover which behavioral science factors might be keeping you from creating THE relationship you’re seeking so that you can stop wasting more time and start moving closer to your ‘one’ today?
• Nail the ONE key ingredient to successfully balance your career with your love life (from someone who has walked in your shoes) and discover how mastering this will transform your life for the better (including your career, your well-being, your health and everything else).?
• PLUS - ask ANY questions around dating, relationships, and behavioral science to me directly (valued at $400) live on the call.

Click here to sign up