Big Things I Learned In My Early 30’s

The 30’s is usually when most of us get serious. At this point in our lives, we have families, finished up school, established in our careers and looking forward to the future. As I continue my life’s journey every so often, I reflect back on some lessons I learned. Life is indeed the greatest teacher. Sometimes, I ignored people who gave solid advice because I was apprehensive about what was said. This would later lead me down a path of poor dispositions. Like many of you the advice I received from people went in one ear and out the other. Now, I try to give recommendations to people who are mostly younger than me. 9 times out 10 they don’t listen to me at all…shocker. I can’t fault them for not taking my advice, because I was once in their shoes. I didn’t want to listen either. As we grow older its important that we continue to evolve our thinking patterns. If we are to successfully navigate today’s sociopolitical climate, we need to understand what’s going on around us and make informed decisions based on our own research in conjunction with the lived experience of others. If you keep a finger on the pulse of what’s happening around you, your community, country, and globally then you stand a better chance at avoiding some trials and tribulations. Listed below are several things that I learned since entering my 30’s. I hope that some of these things are relatable, if not please take heed to what’s mentioned below.

1. Everyone Belongs in 1 of 3 Categories, Except Family

There are three categories that everyone will fall into. The categories are: friends, associates, and acquaintances. Friends are people you can rely on in emergency situations and are always there when you need them. Your friends will usually show up in one of two situations, 1) when you’re sick and 2) when you’re in trouble. Whomever you consider a friend must also respect certain boundaries and be willing to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. Your friends will also steer you in the right direction. Listen to them because they care. Associates are individuals you work with. It’s possible to form friendships with people you work with, however I would be very careful doing so. Forming a friendship with an associate can lead to trouble later down the road. Typically, we reveal secrets to our friends, who don’t mean us any harm for the most part. Also, our friends don’t work with us in most situations. If you reveal personal information to a “friend” at work, you risk some of your constituents learning about something you intended to be confidential. I’ve always found it easier to keep my fellow associates at a distance. In other words, I feed them with a long-ended spoon. I also tend to be positive and neutral when speaking about a variety of topics around them. My advice to you would be to keep associates at a distance until you can confidently evaluate their intentions or hidden agendas. Lastly, acquaintances are people you meet in passing. You will often have very brief conversations with them. They could also work at your same job, but in a different department. I’ve always found it better to keep things brief with this group. Keep it simple with acquaintances at all times. Get to know them a little more before you decided to move them into the friend category.

2. Relationships

The single most important decision you’ll ever make is who you date/marry. The person you decide to cohabitate with will have the most direct and overt influence over your life than anyone else. Your partner will indirectly dictate how you feel and think on a daily basis. They will also determine how much money you spend or save. Especially, if you ever consider merging assets (bank accounts, investment accounts, properties, etc.). The main reason why your partner will have so much leverage over your life is because of proximity and your emotional investment. You are connected to them emotionally; which can be a great thing if you two are indeed compatible with one another. It can also lead to a lot of heart ache if you don’t carefully vet your partner. Don’t rush into anything. Take the time and get to know the person inside and out. Go on a mission to learn everything about that person before you decide to invite them into your life. Once they’re in the door, it can be difficult to get them back out. At least in the beginning don’t reveal too much information as it relates to your financial situation. Your financial situation isn’t important until you start moving towards a long-term position. Also, get to know their family and friends. These are the people who theoretically care the most and would know the most about your date. When they speak, just listen and take notes. Don’t ignore the serious red flags. You may feel compelled to give them the “benefit of the doubt”. Don’t do it. Take it for what its worth and assess them as an individual wholistically. In addition, once your partner gives an indication that they may be a little unstable, believe them the first time. You will be better off not giving them another opportunity to show you what you already know. Just in case you missed it the first time, when it comes to relationships i.e. (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife) take the time to learn who you will eventually share a bed, children, finances, and a life with.

3. A Lone Wolf Can’t Survive Without the Pack

There’s been a recent push for individualism on virtually every social media platform to date. The idea is you can create and command massive amounts of resources by yourself without any help. This idea is a logical fallacy at best. Yes, you can be very successful and earn tons of money, but you will never be able to control any real part of your local economy in the community. Sorry if you expected to be able to start a lab in your basement and eventually rule the world. Let me give you a little secret. The world is operated and controlled by families or small groups of people. Groups of people with similar interest, backgrounds, cultural identities, religions, familial ties, and other associations are the movers and shakers of our society. This point cannot be refuted. I challenge you to find any research for the contrary. To further this point, please allow me to provide a few examples: the Walton family (the Walton family is one of the richest non-royal families on the planet) Walmart is also one of the largest employers on the planet. Mark Zuckerberg (the creator of Facebook) is married and has children. Robert F. Smith has a net worth of about 9.2 billion. Robert F. Smith is the founder and chairman of private equity partners. He’s also married with children. Byron Allen is a media mogul, who founded a global media company worth about a billion dollars. He too is married with children. The Jewish community is another example of a group that controls actual resources. Fraternities at major colleges and universities can also be considered an example that supports my point. Often, fraternities create groups of high performing individuals who stay connected and help their fellow constituents build large corporations, businesses, and other areas of the socioeconomic landscape. My advice to you is to consider building a team. Yes, you need to become a high functioning asset first. After, you reach this point you can begin building your team. I recommend to start off by building a network. Your network should comprise of individuals with similar marital status, educational background, goals, ambitions, political associations, and value system. The marital status thing shouldn’t be overlooked. From my experience, single people adopt very risky behavior when they get involved in certain groups. If you know them very well, then they might be ok, but proceed with caution. It’s important to keep in touch with your group and meet to discuss objectives. Another way to build your network is to share opportunities. Let someone know of an opportunity that they have a high probability of capitalizing on. Share an email, text, phone call, or meet in person. Your team can also help you navigate through various issues with employment, academic endeavors, and can be a source of capital for a business venture you might have. Get that lone wolf mentality out of your head. You need other people to be successful. Period. #strategicthinking #newblogpost #lifeadvice #newpost #motivation #thingstolearn