The Big Stage: The Olympics and The Majesty of Calmness Part 3

If you’ve made it to these last few steps, you are probably looking to resolve a very frustrating issue. 

Use these tips in order to push past frustration and be your very best, like an Olympian who stays in the majesty of calmness. 

Step seven: A funny thing happened on the way

Whatever the frustration, make a joke about it, even if it's a bad one.

If you can find some grain of humor in the situation, smiling, laughing and even being silly can all defuse anger and frustration. Make a joke about the crappy situation you are dealing with instead of dwelling on it. It's not psychologically possible to experience two emotions at once. Find your favorite YouTube video or some funny comedian to watch whenever anger reaches this seventh step. Even if you're not feeling it, the fake-it-until-you-make-it trick of smiling to boost happiness works, as well. 

Remember, even the great Jesse Owens utilized humor when speaking about the 1936 Olympics surrounded by hatred, ignorance, and racism.  He told an exaggerated story to make fun of Hitler about how Luz Long helped him qualify for the long jump finals. 

Step eight: Use the Action principle

Ask yourself: "Is there something I can do to make it better?"

Even if the answer is a small step that may not seem that effective, just taking action gets you out into the frame of acting, not reacting.

Work to come up with a successful solution yourself. Be the agent of change that fixes the situation and you will discover that you have more power than you think. Pause to make sure your solution won't create another problem. (Hint: Sleep on that angry email response.)  If you can't come up with anything, that is useful, too. Knowing that you can't change something is the first step in accepting it. Cue the Serenity Prayer.

Five of the biggest stars on the world champion U.S. women’s national soccer team recently took action and accused the U.S. Soccer Federation of pay discrimination. In light of the women’s team’s superior on-field achievements and higher anticipated revenue, they filed a complaint asking for the same pay as the men’s team receives.

Step nine: Trust in time and successive events

In the future, it is possible that you will see this particular anger-causing situation differently. Look at past problems and see how they've been a catalyst for change or even a blessing in disguise.  Do not view them as failures.

One day, you may even look back at a difficult situation with fondness, humor or gratefulness (for having overcome it). It's worth keeping in mind that what seems bad now won't always be so.

 Look at the example set by Olympic swimmer Kathleen Baker, who was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2010. Fighting the disease has strengthened her resolve and determination to win. “What this means to me is on a whole ’nother level.”

Step ten: Call a lifeline

It's time to talk about the frustration with someone you trust who is not involved in the situation.

Start by telling them what you did in the previous steps and why they didn't fully work. Another person, by definition, gives you an alternate perspective; the more outside your frame they are, the better. If they are a good friend or mentor, they will indubitably have advice tailored to you and your situation that has eluded you.

There are also professionals to talk to, especially if you feel that anger is often out of your control. Reflect on the severity and frequency of your anger, because an expert may be what you need if these episodes are disrupting your life.

The first African American to win the women's title at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, Debi Thomas, ended up in a bug-infested trailer until she called a lifeline and asked for help from a life coach.

We all have anger in our lives, even though we know it’s a wasted emotion.  We must use these 10 steps to stay in the “flow” and live in a majesty of calmness and happiness!

Don’t forget to check out Part 1 and Part 2 of the series.

By: David Meltzer

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