Big Sister Energy

I’m an older sister, which basically means that I’ve been a grown up since I was four. Alfred Adler’s birth order theory suggests that this phenomenon gave me a new role in the family, making me protective of my little sister, responsible for her wellbeing, and being conscientious in guiding her and setting an example. This week I’ve been wondering if regardless of our birth order, we should all be applying this “big sister energy” in our lives - to ourselves. To me, this looks like looking out for myself with love and patience like an older sister would, prioritizing my physical and emotional needs as an older sister would for me, or even being slightly controlling and bossy towards myself like an older sister would be.

We often hesitate in stating our needs and asking for what we want. For eg, as a dinner guest at a friend’s house, I would rather sit with my hunger at 8pm (dinner time for me), than let my host know I’d like to have something to munch on till dinner is ready. However, if my little sister was to tell me she was hungry, the story would be different and I wouldn’t hesitate letting her needs be known. The point is that we could all benefit from being our own big sister, courageously but compassionately advocating for ourselves, and nurturing our wellbeing. And since my little sister is 7000 miles away anyway, this week I’ve been channeling all my ‘big sister energy’ inwards, towards myself and taking more responsibility for my wellbeing, and I have to say — you must try it too!