A Big Mac, a big confession, and the leader of the world's 1.2 billion Roman Catholics...

I have a confession to make.?

I’ve always had a soft spot for a Big Mac & Cheese.?

Mea culpa.?

I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. Probably since before Little Macs grew up into Big ones.?

There’s something about the whole Mac experience…soft, sesame seed bun…mouth-watering meaty interior…mayonnaise dressing…sliced pickle…crisp, shredded lettuce… finely-chopped onion…thin slab of cheese…and a dollop of McDonald’s secret ingredient…that puts the whole heavenly meal in a class of its own.??

It appeals to my fast-food personality.?

That’s the theory, anyway.?

Oh…and then there’s the overflowing pack of long, hot, salted, ultra-slim French Fries with optional tomato ketchup.?

And coke (or shake).

I was brought up a Roman Catholic (until I grew into double figures). Which meant I also went to confession. Which meant I also served at mass. Which also meant my fast-food personality hated the idea of a McDonald’s-free world.?

And then one day, years later, I discovered that there were lots of countries throughout the world that didn’t have a single sit-down McDonald’s. Over 100, in fact.?

And then I heard about a guy called David Rich.?

He was the manager of the McDonald’s restaurant based in Sierra Vista, Arizona, located near the Fort Huachuca military installation, in good old US of A.?

Now military rules can be a bit unforgiving. For instance, soldiers couldn’t wear their military uniforms in public, which made nipping out, grabbing a delicious burger, then ambling back to the base a bit time-consuming.

And that’s when Dave had his lightbulb moment.?

He cut a hole in the restaurant wall which allowed members of the military to pick up their orders without stepping out of their car.?

And so, the first McDonald’s Drive Thru was born.?

I’ve been to a few of them, sadly all in England.?

And of all the countries where there isn’t a McDonald’s…one country (if you can call it that) stands head and shoulders above the rest.?

The Vatican City.?

A city-state surrounded by Rome and a population of roughly 250 people, including its most important resident, Pope Francis 1,?Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God.

He has eight titles…and his gaff doesn’t have a McDonald’s of any shape or size near any of them.?

It has lots of confessional booths with take-away absolution.?

It has lots of holy water, with blessed wafers.?

But sadly, dear old Pope Francis, the leader of the world’s 1.2 BILLION Roman Catholics, can’t sit back, put his feet up, and enjoy a double (or single) Big Mac and Cheese with French Fries, in between any weekday, weekend, or Holy Day mass. And there are lots of those.?

Unless, of course, he has one smuggled in every week.?

Just for him.?

In which case, I don’t think I’m the only one who has a confession to make.

Sorry, Frankie boy, but the cat’s out of the bag.?

Your whistle just got blown.?

Right, I’m off out now for a sin-free Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and double chips.

In Paris, they call that a Royale with cheese.?

In The Vatican, they call it a Frankie Special.

With coke…

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No confessions involved…