Big loss for me

Year 1988, I was just 9 years old, our school has organised an Annual Talent show. I was very excited to express my love towards dance. As the day was nearing, along with excitement, something else also started in my mind. What if I forget my steps, what if, the songs do not play well, what if I fall, what if people do not like my dance. Yes, rightly guessed, it was the fear of failure. I have never performed on any stage; I was a crowd dancer. Loser Mindset started gaining over my excitement and finally I got myself drop out of the show. My role was played by one of my friends.

On the D – Day, I managed to see them perform on the stage. But the worst was yet to come. Photos of their performance were clicked, and they were printed on the next year school calendar. The entire school got the calendar and within one day they became the celebrities in school. It was a lifetime achievement and ever cherishing memories for them, and a BIG LOSS for me.

Fear of failure is the thin line between mediocre and successful life. 95% of the fears that we think do not come to reality, and out of this 5%, which actual becomes reality create only 50% of the Effect, which we have thought in our mind. So practically speaking, there are very less chances that we will fail and fail miserably. This does not mean; fear is not important. Fear protects us from car accident, falling off a cliff. If it is Life and death situation, then and then only embrace the fear and act upon. 

Some of the reasons for fear of failure are: Suffered failure in the past, seen some one failing, Childhood memory, Fear Inculcation by overprotective parents. Typical reaction, which are seen when a person encounters this fear are the 3 F’s – Fight, Freeze or Flight. The person who decides to Flight, will lead a very meagre life, Person opting for Freeze may go either towards Fight or flight. Best part of this Fear of failure is that, it can be fought, it can be replaced, it can be improved upon. So, let us fight.

               Fake it, till you make it – is the first mantra. Here we ignore the fear and train our mind, that there is no fear and behave as if it is not in you. We must create affirmations and visualize your new and better self-image. This affirmation and visualization changes your belief system and helps you in trusting yourself. We must make a show that we are not fearing till the time, we come out of the situation.  In second phase, we must embrace the fear meaning accepting the reality of fears, which sets in. One of the reasons for this fear is lack of confidence. Lack of confidence can be built upon by building the Competency Level. To build the competency, we need to practise that thing, we need to keep on doing things which fears us. So that, we can master it. As we master the things, we will gain competence, which ultimately leads to overcoming the fear and floating in the upper zone of Confidence. In short, we must work upon our mindset as well as on our skill set.

In my case, I have overcome my fear of failure and fear of facing the public. Initially when I went for my further studies, I lied to my friends, that I can dance and performed very well in the school and shared some of my success stories. I made them to believe in me and allow me to participate. Then I worked on my skill set, I practiced more than everyone else. I was practising as if, I was preparing for I.I.T. This improvement in mindset and skill set yielded good results for me. In my first performance, I was awarded third prize among 50+ participants and then there was no looking back. We won almost all the college level competitions in our city and participated in some of the local TV shows. 

It took me 8 years to kill my fear. You guys are in the information age, where in tried and tested solution can be watched on YouTube or Facebook and can be implemented. So, my friends, be fearless, gear up, press the pedal, and fly in your super comfort zone as we all are aware that Success is all about overcoming our fears.