Big life lesson:when you walk away with your tail between your legs...

There are times you crash and burn, you give it your all, and you still end up on the bottom of the pile, or feel like the back end of something!   They say sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.  Here is my "bug" story:

I don't remember what year it was, exactly, but it's been at least 2007.  A long time to remember the details in all the goings on of business.  I was asked to work with a group of bank-affiliated offices in upstate NY.  They had started as a small family owned business with a son heir-apparent and his good friend.  They had grown, been purchased by a bank with several branches, but the core business was still relatively condensed.  They were a little full of themselves, riding high before the eventual market changes that affected so many of us around 2008 2009. 

I was asked to work with the teams, including the Leadership team.  Staff was having a hard time with some of the transitions and leadership egos; Management struggling like many do with how to "herd cats", so to speak.

I stayed with them for a short time in the life of change and what it takes, then was told they had chosen not to continue the contract. 

I was devastated.  I felt defeated, dejected, misunderstood.  I had given so much to this group, had offered honest feedback about some of what needed to change.  And then, to put my heart and my skill set out there to be escorted out (so to speak)...

I walked away not understanding.  One of the team told me, "Brandie, let it go, it's not personal."  I didn't want to hear it.  Okay, but it sure felt personal.

So I continued on, after all, life wears on anyway.  More clients, more speaking engagements, more victories, and Yes, of course, a few more disappointments.  But this one always left me scratching my head.

Fast forward to April 9, 2015.  I receive this exact email: 

 "Hello ole friend, you may remember me when I was with XX. Three years ago I accepted an offer to switch to XX. I have to tell you why I am reaching out. I was reading today's Pipeline newsletter and was ready the article referencing "cool hand Luke” (not paying attention to the author at this time) and got to the part about “by when” and couldn’t help but think of you. Then, low and behold, I saw your name as the author and had to reach out to you.

To this day I utilize “by when”, “unstoppable”, and “gain agreement” in all facets of my life. You probably deserve royalties of some sort, or at least drinks the next time you visit western NY. Stay in touch!"

WHAT I LEARNED

Dave and I spoke on the phone last week, first time in years.   I asked him about his life, the great position he has an an Executive in his company, and about what happened so long ago.   He told me that he wasn't sure about who I was or what I was sharing when we first met, that he wasn't a fan at first.  I said, "I remember." 

But then he said, "...but then I became one.  I really started seeing that what you were sharing with us had so much application."  "But" he said, "it was too late by then, and that is what was so disappointing."  He continued "we weren't ready for what you brought us..."

"However."  Dave tells me,  "I started using the principles, and I continue to empower my own team and our clients with them even to this day."

WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

For those that read this, this was my life lesson:  We all make a difference, all of the time.  What matters is what kind of difference we make. That no matter when you know - or don't - when someone is looking, or listening, or even caring about what you say or what you show, or if they "escort you out"  that it matters what you bring, and the life you choose to live.

What I learned is that there is a plan oh so much bigger than anything I can imagine, and that somewhere in NY someone is paying it forward in a much bigger way, in a much bigger scope than anything I could have done, even though I felt like I was the "bug" that day...