The Big Lie

Preface

No one meant any harm. It wasn't something anyone did on purpose. But the generations before us lied to us. Well, maybe "lied" is too strong a word because it implies intent. They unintentionally led us to the wrong conclusion about the reality of aging. How's that?

Here are some of the typical words we've been given when it comes to aging:

• Retirement
• Walkers
• Dementia
• Assisted living
• Nursing homes
• Hospice

Now, before you get mad, let me be clear. All of these words are valid at some point in our lives. And I think people at this stage of life are some of the most precious people on earth. So, I get it. We cannot reverse the aging process. I'm not proclaiming that I've found the elusive "fountain of youth."

The Disconnect

Here's the problem: It's the ONLY picture we've been shown for what it looks like to get older.

No wonder #midlifecrisis is such a talked-about phase of life. We start showing signs of decline in our 40's and we shout, "Oh God, please don't let it happen to me. I'm too young to grow old!"

And we go out and have an affair or buy a sports car to prove we've still "got it."

Hope on the Horizon

But that's not the only picture of aging. Thank the Lord, there are more and more studies showing how much more capable our brains are as we age.

Search #neuroplasticity

Arthur C. Brooks has written a book entitled, From Strength To Strength. In it he talks about a second curve that occurs as we age. Check this out from chapter 2:

"Decline is unavoidable. Period. But aging isn’t all bad news (and I’m not talking about grandkids and a condo in Sarasota, although that’s got to be nice, too). In fact, there are some specific ways in which we naturally get smarter and more skillful. The trick to improving as we age is to understand, develop, and practice these new strengths. If you can [and you can] you can transform decline into incredible new success.

"Did you ever notice that as people get old, they almost never become less articulate? They tend to have a richer vocabulary than they did earlier in life. This leads to a number of abilities. They are better Scrabble players, for example, and can do quite well in foreign languages—not in getting the accent perfect but in building vocabulary and understanding grammar. Studies bear out these observations: people maintain and grow their vocabulary—in their native languages and foreign languages—all the way to the end of life.

"Similarly, you may notice that with age, people are better at combining and utilizing complex ideas. In other words, they may not be able to come up with shiny new inventions or solve problems quickly like in the old days. But they get much better at using the concepts they know and expressing them to others. They also get better at interpreting the ideas that others have—sometimes even to the people who came up with them.* "

There's a second curve! We are gaining in crystallized intelligence! We're not losing it!

So put your big boy/girl pants on. It's time to kick some aging butt. Life is so much more than we have been led to believe. I see so many people who have given into the singular picture of aging and decline and leave so much life on the table unlived. They die long before they are buried.

The Thing About Decline

Did you know that real decline (you know, the kind that debilitates us to the point where we need others to lead us to the bathroom and remind us of who our relatives' names) on average only occurs within the last 12-18 months of our lives. If you're 50, that stage could be 30 or 40 years from now! Why worry or fret about it?

Get out there and start living your second curve!

I truly appreciate you reading the Serve Strong Finish Strong newsletter (formerly GenX Weekly). It's a privilege to write it for you.

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* Brooks, Arthur C.. From Strength to Strength (p. 24). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.?