Big Girl Pants

The phrase "big girl pants" often represents a call to action, a metaphorical reminder to step up and face challenges head-on. For women like us midlifers, this concept can be challenging in certain places, with certain people but also particularly empowering, as we carry on hurtling through an ever-changing, growing and demanding world. This brief article will explore the challenges we face and how we can harness the power of "big girl pants" to get on and get done the life and work stuff that we need to do.

So what challenges stop us from pulling on the big girl pants sometimes?

Balancing Work and Personal Life: Midlife often coincides with increased family and personal responsibilities, thinking of ALL the things for ALL the people, caring for ageing parents, and raising children, often at a time of menopausal metamorphosis and merriment. These added pressures can create a delicate balance between work and life, making it harder to prioritise careers and ambitions.

Gender Inequality: Despite progress, gender inequality persists in the public sector, with women still underrepresented in leadership positions. Midlife women, in particular, face unique challenges, including ageism and the "glass ceiling," which can limit career advancement opportunities.

Changing Societal Expectations: As women enter midlife, societal expectations regarding roles and responsibilities evolve. This can lead to a sense of confusion and insecurity, with adaption to shifting expectations while also managing the ongoing demands of professional lives.

Changing Personal Goals, Needs, Wants and Desires: A lifetime of people pleasing, providing social lubrication and caregiving roles, can start to take its toll, with women often starting to want to think about other things, themselves and purpose and legacy and what needs to give in order to have that last hurrah before retirement, end that toxic relationship or friendship or start that new hobby.

Overwhelm, Exhaustion and Burnout: Keeping tuned in to when that healthy sense of pressure has turned into a sense of dread of what the day, week and month has ahead. Noticing when sleep feels elusive, when you realise that the Friday night half bottle of red has become a nightly just to take the edge off reward, Realising that it's been forever since you spent an hour, afternoon or day doing something just for you rather than your Mum, boss, kids, work colleague or your partner.

The "Big Girl Pants" Mindset

1. Assertiveness and Confidence: One of the most powerful tools in any woman's arsenal is her ability to assert herself with confidence. Think about what more you can do to speak up, share ideas, and make your presence known in the workplace. If you find this difficult then who can you get inspiration or support from that does this well? By showcasing your skills and knowledge, you may get the opportunity to try something new while also breaking down barriers and paving the way for future generations of women in the public sector.
2. PPPPPPPPersonal Brand: Think about the 8Ps of personal brand - Product (values, attributes, gifts, skills, experience that you offer, Place (where you work, what geography), Price (what the market will pay for what you offer, what you charge, salary etc), Promotion (How you promote your skills and the value you bring), Packaging (how you show up and what it says about you and your work), Positioning (where are you positioned in the minds of people who know you? who is championing you when you are not around?), People (who is in your inner/outer circle, who is your mentor, coach and sponsor), Presence (online and in real life, what do people think of you when you walk into a room, what does your body, voice and the words you use say about you to others)
3. Continuous Learning and Adaptability: The public sector is constantly shifting, growing, and evolving, with one bright shiny thing making way for the next bright, shiny thing. It can be a challenge at times, particularly when feeling overwhelmed, to embrace new learning and maintain a growth mindset, but this is important in terms of adapting to change and leading others.
4. Building a Support Network: To navigate the challenges of midlife, other women can be critical in terms of providing peer support, cheerleading and healthy helpful challenges when needs be. Building strong support networks, both within and outside work can provide guidance, encouragement, and resources, helping overcome obstacles as well as provide inspiration and moral support when the going gets tough or you just need a safe pair of ears and eyes on something to give you a fresh perspective.
5. Self-Care: Amidst the demands of work and personal life, it's important for midlife women to prioritise their physical and mental well-being. By incorporating self-care practices like exercise, mindfulness, and making time for hobbies and friends, it's easier to maintain resilience and ensure that they have the energy and focus required to excel in their roles and lead others.
6. Boundaries: With a capital B. Do you know what yours are? Are they the right ones? Are they similar at home and at work? Are they easier or harder to keep in place in certain situations or with certain people? Do you need to have a review and recalibration or reset about things like working hours, supporting friends, making time for exercise, turning off your work phone at the weekend and saying yes to ALL the things when really you'd rather spend your time doing something, anything else with anyone else.
7. Celebrating Successes: Finally, it's important to recognise and celebrate success. Keeping a note of achievements, talking to others about new learning and taking pride in accomplishments, can build confidence, inspire others, and create a positive workplace culture.

Midlife women face unique challenges, balancing personal and professional demands and navigating an ever-changing, fast-paced world. By cultivating assertiveness, thinking about personal brand, and adopting a growth mindset, it is possible to overcome obstacles and excel both personally and professionally. Additionally, by building strong support networks, making sure that there are clear boundaries in place, prioritising self-care, and celebrating successes, public sector midlife women can ensure their ongoing growth and happiness – both in the workplace and beyond.

If you want some support with locating your "big girl pants"! then get in touch. [email protected]