A 'bickering' team is the best team(?)

The Wright brothers, Orville and Wilbur were constantly at each other's throats; arguing and throwing attacks at each other. You would imagine the most famous brothers who invented the plane are nothing but professional and cooperative people, but no.

However, they were not bickering about their personality or what they hated about each other, they didn't ridicule the other person, and they didn't degenerate into name-calling either. They were bouncing ideas, shooting down ideas (pun intended), and trying to get the best solution to the problem at hand. The result? Well, I'm sure you've flown in one.

A culture forever ingrained

As Malaysians, or Asians in general, we are no strangers to a culture of respecting the elders, being quiet, and not being argumentative in general. This has been portrayed countless times in mainstream movies and TV series as well, though, some of them might be a tad too extreme and out of proportion.

The problem with this is, it spills onto other aspects of our daily lives as well. Parts where we shouldn't stay quiet and not defend ourselves. Being respectful has been misconstrued and misrepresented as being agreeable and used as a tool to keep people in line.

And this is true in the workplace as well. Juniors and newcomers are explicitly or implicitly told that seniors should be respected by default and they should not be questioned or doubted. This is all good and well to feed the ego of people with low self-esteem, but critically detrimental to creating an effective and productive workplace. We direly need to be like the Wright Brothers.

When elders speak, be silent! .... Really..?

To have a forward-thinking and idea-rich organization, a diversity of thoughts and well-meaning discourses have to happen constantly. There's a bias called 'authority bias' which basically means you tend to agree with someone just because they hold certain higher positions in your organization. You basically shut down whatever that is you're thinking and just agreed automatically. Why?

Well, it's easier. Let them do the thinking and deciding. That's what we all defaulted to, and even scarier, it's a subconscious thing we do. However, this is not good for everybody; not for the organization, and certainly not for you. Keep this bias in mind and don't nod automatically when somebody who is more senior than you speak of something. Really give it a thought and if you have something to say about it, you should. Things are not automatically right when they say it, you know. They're humans too, and their thoughts might have missed a place or two.

An example of what you can say when you detect this is,

"I trust you and your line of thoughts that are cultivated over years of experience. And, if I may, I found an information that might be contradicting to what you've just said, I would like to share it with everybody so we can consider that before we decide on anything"

Well, you guys said it!

Another bias that we should be mindful of is the 'groupthink bias'. It's when a group is discussing something, and out of your preference to be accepted or agreeable, and/or you're just cognitively lazy to think of something, you default to agree and go with whatever that is the group has decided.

And again, biases are the things our brain does subconsciously, because it's just easier. The brain has a lot of other things to do and if it finds a shortcut, it will take it. Luckily for us, these biases can be called out and actively controlled by simply taking a breather and a step back and really give it a thought. Think,

"Is this idea good just because everybody says it is? But I did hear something that might not agree with that. I should share this with the team so we can discuss this new information further."

I looked it up, it must be right!

And the last bias for today is 'confirmation bias'. Have you ever had a situation where you have an idea or a position, then, to strengthen your stance, you looked everywhere to support it? Well, that's part of it. You find proofs and arguments solely to make your case and unknowingly ignored the mountain of evidences against it.

Yet again, you can't blame yourself too much for that. It's the shortcut every brain is guilty of. Without it, we would be overwhelmed with constantly thinking about decisions everyday of our lives and that is just not good for our survival as a species, no kidding.

If the team, or somebody is doing so, then offer a counter-argument and try to shoot the idea down. You do that not because you hold contempt towards that person, but because you want to make the idea more bulletproof so to speak. If it can withstand the attack, then it's a good idea. If it can't, then maybe you should all go back to the drawing board. An example of how to do that is,

"I understand that the data support your idea. I would love to see this fly, hence the reason I want to offer a counter-argument to it if you don't mind. I really believe if the idea can defend against it, it would be stronger going forward"

Be mindful of these 3 biases and always speak your mind when necessary. Of course, this is, ideally, in a team or organization that promotes openness and welcome public discourses. A team that knows that exchanging ideas, shooting down each others', and discussing to get the best ones are good for everybody.

But.... until when..?

However, be also mindful that at the end of the day, a decision has to be made. There may be times that we will get our way, or that we will 'lose' the debate, but know that you have done your best to contribute to the best decision that could've been made. Feel no animosity towards others and the decision that has been made. Work on it together and move forward.

As always, good luck