Bhai - Dooj (Bhau - Beej): festival of uniquely unconditional relationship and interpersonal communication

Lead -

A brother and sister are born to the same parents, grow up under similar family circumstances (good or bad), share similar experiences, #communicate about most situations faced in common and are the byproducts of the same parentage and family fabric. There is a unique understanding between a brother and a sister, they are the best friends, protectors, admirers, secret sharers of each other and have unconditional love for each other.

History -

Lord Krishna visited his sister, Subhadra after killing demon Narkasur. She gave him a warm welcome and made the occasion really special through flowers and sweets. Subhadra also applied the ceremonial 'tilak' on the forehead of her brother, Krishna and hence the festival of #'Bhai - Dooj' started.

Another story of God Yama, the God of Death and his sister Yamuna. It is believed that he met his beloved sister on 'Dwitheya', the second day after the new moon. Thus the occasion began to be celebrated as 'Yamadwitheya' or 'Yamadvitiya' across the country from that day.

Dialogues -

The brother and sister are so much an integral part of the family and so much deeply immersed in the day to day life, that the directness and sponteneity in their dialogues has total transparency. This transparency is to some extent visible among some pairs of best friends, where nothing is at all under cover. Agewise whether younger or elder, brother stands for the fatherly support and sister is the motherly comfort in the pair. It is difficult to decode the feelings, emotions and love between siblings, even for the parents as they have their own biases regarding children.

Psychological support -

"I love my family though it's not the best", this sentimental quote factually brings many highs and lows in the life of a brother and the sister. Factors like the #interpersonal relations among the parents, the socio - economic status of the family etc. mostly stress out the pair in their tender childhood and sensitive teenage phase. Here, at times the brother acts as a buffer to reduce the harshness of the severe impact the sister's psyche may suffer or the sister plays a filter to smoothen the intensity of emotions that may harm the brother's state of mind. Interestingly, this uniqueness in this relation goes unnoticed even by the parents. Surprisingly, this relation is unconditional as there is not a single purpose of selfishness, only the thought that the other sibling should be safe and protected.

Exceptions are always true, where the brother and sister born to the same parents are emotionally miles apart. On ther other hand, this binding is found equally strong among neighbours, cousins or friends. #'Bhaiya - Dooj' is one such occasion that can define the eternal love between different siblings (brother and sister). This wonderful festival is an important occasion where sisters pray to God for the longevity, well-being and prosperity of her beloved brother.

Ritual -

'Bhai - Dooj' is an auspicious festival in Diwali that celebrates the strong bonding between two opposite sex siblings. Sisters invite their brothers to visit their place and also pray to God for the well-being of their brothers against all the evils and bad fortune. In return, brothers promise to follow their responsibilities of caring and loving their sisters, unconditionally. They exchange sweets and gifts that may best suit their budgets.

As a ritual, the sister puts ‘tilak’ the auspicious mark on the brother's forehead and prays for his wellbeing. It is believed that those who have the ‘tilak’ on their foreheads by their sisters, will never be let down.

Summary - The siblings - relation strength lies in the interpersonal communication they share with each other. In the long run, this bonding may get influenced as so many external factors keep adding in both their lives. Yet, those siblings whose top priority is their lifelong relstionship with strong emotional bonding, can hold both sides tight till the end. If this genre of relationship with supporting communication becomes possible in other relations - personal, social or professional, 'Bhai - Dooj' or #'Bhau - Beej' will become a global model of relationship. Lastly, to get a feel of this relation one needs to speak to those boys and girls who are alone, in relation or by mind.