Breaking the Mask
The Masks We Wear
The stories we hide are often the keys to the connections we crave.
This week at Nurturing Mental Health in PR, wearing my mask and cape and opened with a keynote on Maven my superwoman, workaholic, perfectionist alta ego.
The masks we wear serve as armour, but this is what it is actually like being a Black woman at work.
My mask has protected me from the fear of being judged, misunderstood, or rejected.
This has often taken the form of pretending I am fine when I'm not, projecting an image of success, and avoiding difficult conversations.
But, this effort to shield myself has come at a cost. The weight of maintaining an illusion is exhausting, and it has lead me to feelings of isolation and disconnection.
People can’t connect with the fa?ade; they connect with the human being behind it.
Vulnerability invites connection. When we share the stories we’ve hidden—our struggles, failures, and fears—we create opportunities for others to say, “Me too.”
It’s in these moments of shared humanity that the walls between us crumble.
The Power of Storytelling
There’s a unique magic in storytelling. When we share our stories, we allow others to see themselves in us, breaking down walls.
When we open up about our personal journeys—the highs and lows—we offer a piece of ourselves to others. This act of vulnerability builds trust, fosters empathy, and reminds us that we’re not alone.
Studies show that vulnerability activates oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” which strengthens relationships. By being vulnerable, we invite others to connect on a deeper level.
The Black Wellbeing Collective facilitated a great session inviting us into our imaginations to dream again, experience our joys and slow down to connect with the breath.
Our shared vulnerability created a sense of solidarity amongst the group and what might usually feel risky to share, actually invited understanding and support.
But, unmasking doesn’t mean oversharing. The goal isn’t to reveal every detail of your life but to share intentionally and authentically.
Ask yourself: What part of my story might resonate with others? How can I offer something meaningful without seeking validation?
Perfectionism as a Barrier to Connection
Letting go of perfection isn’t a loss of power; it’s an embrace of connection.
Perfectionism tells us that our worth is tied to our performance. It urges us to strive for an ideal that’s not only unattainable, but also isolating.
When we constantly project perfection, we create distance.
Consider a leader who never admits mistakes. While they might appear strong, their team may see them as unapproachable or out of touch. Conversely, leaders who acknowledge their imperfections—whether it’s admitting they don’t have all the answers or sharing a lesson learned from failure—build trust and loyalty.
The same applies in personal relationships. People are drawn to authenticity, not performance. Sharing your imperfections makes you relatable and shows others it’s safe to be themselves around you.
By letting go of perfection, you’re not sacrificing respect or competence—you’re inviting connection. Strength doesn’t come from never faltering; it comes from showing up, flaws and all.
Embracing Imperfection and Unmasking in Practice
We want everything polished, but that constant polishing is exhausting! So, how can you begin unmasking and embracing imperfection?
Courage to be seen, flaws and all
In the end, true strength lies not in performance but in the courage to be seen, flaws and all.
Authenticity and connection go hand in hand. By unmasking and sharing your story, you allow others to see the real you—and in doing so, you give them permission to do the same.
Embracing imperfection doesn’t diminish you; it makes you more approachable, relatable, and human.
This week, challenge yourself to take one step toward vulnerability. Share a story you’ve been keeping to yourself, admit a mistake, or let someone see a glimpse of your imperfections.
You might be surprised by how much closer you feel to the people around you.
?? Bitesize weekly content! We hope you have enjoyed it. See you next week x
Looking for a Cheerleader? If you want to hang out.?Kinship is a psychologically safe space for diverse corporate women navigating intersectionality in the workplace. We meet on the First Friday of every month. Allies are welcome! Learn more here
Public Speaker | Executive Leadership Consultant (DEIB) and Intersectional Educator | Making Inclusion and belonging a lived reality | Pianist/musician | Board Member
15 小时前Love your work! I pray that anyone reading this wanting to take off their mask would know that they are not alone and that there are people like Benevolent Health who are help with this important journey.
Helping New & 4-5 Figure Coaches & Consultants Become Thought Leaders with the PPP Framework: Transforming Positioning and Messaging to Attract Premium Clients and Scale Revenue.
1 天前This fosters empathy, understanding, and a sense of belonging. But at the end we need to remember: It's okay to be imperfect. In fact, embracing your imperfections can make you more relatable and human.