#BeyondHero

Long and emotional post ahead.

I lost 2 family members(my heroes) in last 6 weeks.Both my grandfathers-Maternal and paternal.I lovingly called them Bade papa and Baba.True my Nanu fought with Cancer for 13 years and came out of it twice only to succumb to it the last moment and my Dadu survived 95 beautiful years on earth with no major disease and complete physical agility and losing his life to a sudden fall and brain haemorrhage, but the suddenness of these events one after the other deeply impacted me as a person and taught me many things I could learn from this experience(as amazing as all rough times are).

It was quite heartbreaking to call the same obituary printing vendors for just changing the text, the flower decorators, the venue arrangements as well as the caterers in almost a span of 6 weeks to take care of the responsibilities that come with a funeral. It was as if I was on a repeat mode by using the same white clothes, arranging for my sons school and my unavailability in office in auto mode as I went from one personal loss to another.

That's why I also thought that this post can be shared at LinkedIn as these personal/professional lessons not only enriched me as a person but added how I operate as a professional moving forward.

Jack of all trades and then some more -Nanu did a full time job with LIC and started a business empire with it while being associated with many causes like supporting child labor and closing meat factories and getting jobs for many people. Dadu worked full time with Desu and again worked with many schools and institutions in education for years with being associated with religious institutions.I saw 40-50 letters each dedicated to them for their contributions to the community.It made me wonder what kind of equity am I gaining for myself by working a corporate job. There is more to it, there is more to life. Lesson learnt-Be the giver, as the world has many takers anyway.

Being the go to person- “Someone has to do it. Why not me?” That realisation hit both of them quite early in their life and they started taking problems head on by being the go to person.The go-to person isn't perfect. He's just capable, reliable, willing, honest and accountable. There were at-least 15 people from different walks of life- men they worked with, religious efforts they drove , students they taught, familia and even neighbours who turned to them for advice.Most of the people felt the loss so up close because both Nanu and Baba were their go to people. And they were constantly asking themselves, “How can I make this better?” and “How can prepare them so we never have to face crunch time in the first place?Lesson learnt- Taking responsibility when things don't go well is an underrated key to building a reputation for reliability. 

You can't serve for an empty vessel -They both took excellent care of themselves in terms of the basic habits. Being Jains, anyway we are away from meat, smoking and liquor etc but the habits they developed and continued for a very long time whether it be meals on time or fixed sleep routines or eating at home with the most seasonal foods to help themselves and the environment. I see so much facade around super foods like avocado etc etc which are not even native to our bodily regional alignment, I have a new found respect for my body. Lesson learnt- If you gain a little more mastery over your body, mind and life energies, you can become the master of your destiny.

Family comes first and last -They were epitome of family men taking care of their complete responsibilities of the family.I see so many ideas of travel/live/passion project first, save/responsibilities later mentality now that this quality of them being able to take care of their children in all aspects seemed like a noble concept. Also, I remember them both calling me at the slightest fever my son would develop, even with distances and we being adults. This legacy of being family first people is something I will carry on with me forever.Lesson learnt -Responsibility means being able to respond to the best of your ability to whatever situations you may face in your life.

Passion and Bravery are lifelong traits- Learning is an active process. They both were believers that we learn by doing and the only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind. I remember my last conversation with my Nanu was he wanted to drive his scooty(which he did effectively in all 13 years of being cancer ridden) and my Dadu planning to share his collection of thousands of coins collected from 1925 with the family.Passion for something and the childlike quality to look at something with such starry eyes in both cases reminds me to find little treasures in life everyday even if that means a 2 step dance with my son. Lesson learnt-Look out world-I am coming for you!

Personal Branding now and forever- This one was an amazing eye opener. I take too much pride in the number of recommendations I have on LinkedIn or the network I have built over the years or the number of people I meet when I get invited to events to speak to otherwise.At both the funerals, we saw almost 3 times the people we invited standing to pay their respects.I remember men coming with their wives and children talking about how they helped them get jobs.I saw head of institutions talking about how fearless they were when they worked together for community causes.Lesson learnt-Invest in how you impact people's life, you will add value everyday for the rest of your life and then after too.

This is my way of honouring not one Hero of my life but two.The ones who defined my moral compass by narrating moral stories when I was a child. The twos who taught me how to be fair in an argument by sometimes making tough choices but sticking to integrity. The ones who taught me to always hear the view of the youngest in the family because as the eldest this is a responsibility not a choice.Though I wish it were so, the reality of life is not always a Cinderella story. But during some difficult days, I learned there was something better than a magic wand to wave away my troubles, inner strength. 

A strong person isn't the one who doesn't cry, She is the one who sheds tears for a moment, and then picks up the sword and fights again- As my Bade papa and Baba would have said.

Aditi