Beyond the Woo.

An Ode To Feeling Your Feelings as a Leader.

Do you ever roll your eyes when you hear people talking about feeling their feelings?

Oh no. Not the woo woo talk of digging up feelings again.

No problem. Maybe you’re not interested in building a deeper connection with yourself or others, and increasing your capacity to grow? If so, I’d hop off this email.

"The only way out is through." - Robert Frost

Yes. I like to talk about feelings.

I’ll be blunt. Many of us don't know how to feel them.

What? You're crazy Hope. I have feelings all the time.

I'm sure you do.But do you experience your emotions fully?

This is the ticket.

Let me share where many of us respond to emotions that arise.

The first option. The one many of us default to. Resistance.?

When we experience anxiety, anger, or fear, we are often resisting those emotions.

Imagine holding a beach ball underwater. Resisting the strong (difficult) emotion is the same. It takes effort to hold it down. At some point, it explodes to the surface, leaving us feeling overwhelmed. Or worse, it can get locked up inside our bodies, held in tension or dis-ease.

Many of us learned to resist our emotions as children, as a way of coping with difficult experiences. But nobody taught us an alternative.?

In my coaching work I support my clients to be present with their emotions, rather than resist them.

Because here's the thing: being human means feeling emotions. They're not something to avoid or ignore because they guide much of our lives.

"Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions." - Elizabeth Gilbert

The second option is reacting to our emotions.?

How does this land for you? Feeling an emotion means you have to act on it. Like, if you're angry, you have to yell.

If you're sad, you have to cry.

But reacting in this way doesn't often allow us to fully experience the emotion. It's like putting on a performance instead of being authentic. Yes, this lesson blew my little mind.

Moving beyond my first reaction of emotion has allowed me to get to the heart of many difficult emotions.

The third option is distraction.

We all have our ways of avoiding uncomfortable emotions. I call this buffering. Pick your route. It could be overeating when you're not hungry. You may find yourself overworking. Some of you may dip into over-socializing. Even positive activities like exercise, or self-care can be a form of distraction if they're used to avoid feeling.

But there's a fourth option: feeling the emotion.

That's what I want to focus on today.

How do we move past resistance, reaction, and distraction, and truly allow ourselves to feel?

1. The first step is holding space without judgment. Instead of immediately reacting or trying to push the emotion away, we allow it to be there. We don't attach any meaning or judgment to it. This takes practice, but it's essential for fully experiencing our emotions.
2. Next, we need to describe the emotion in detail. You can do this in your head, in your journal, or share with another trusted human. What does it feel like in our body? Where do we feel it?
3. By describing the physical sensations of the emotion in our body, we separate ourselves from it. This allows us to see that it's a temporary vibration. It's nothing to be afraid of.?It can and will flow through if we let it.
4. Finally, we need to allow ourselves to carry the emotion with us, instead of trying to get rid of it. This means being willing to coexist with the discomfort, knowing that it will eventually pass. It's not always easy, but it's necessary for growth and personal development.

?? Feeling Your Feelings: The Heartbeat of Authentic Leadership ??

As leaders, we often focus on strategy, execution, and results. But there’s an often-overlooked aspect that’s just as crucial: feeling our feelings. Yes, you read that right! Embracing our emotions can be a game-changer in creating a thriving, inclusive workplace. Let me share why this matters so much.

Role Modeling Healthy Emotional Expression By expressing our emotions in a healthy way, we set a powerful example for our teams. When we handle our feelings constructively, we encourage our team members to do the same. This leads to a more emotionally intelligent workplace where people feel safe to be their true selves.

?? Reason: Leaders who express their emotions healthily set a positive example for their team.

?? Explanation: By demonstrating how to handle emotions constructively, leaders can encourage their team members to do the same, leading to a healthier and more emotionally intelligent workplace.

?? Example: Imagine a leader who calmly expresses disappointment about a missed deadline and then focuses on solutions. This approach shows the team that it’s possible to handle setbacks without resorting to blame or anger.

Why It Matters for Leaders to Feel Their Feelings

1. Authentic Connection: When leaders share their true emotions, they foster a deeper connection with their team, building trust and openness. It's about showing that we’re all human, and it’s okay to feel.
2. Enhanced Emotional Intelligence: Understanding our emotions helps us navigate social complexities and manage relationships better. It also means we can recognize and respond to the emotions of others more effectively.
3. Improved Decision-Making: Emotions provide valuable insights. When we acknowledge and process them, we make more thoughtful and balanced decisions.
4. Stress Reduction and Resilience: By recognizing and addressing our feelings, we can manage stress better and build resilience. This is crucial for maintaining well-being in a leadership role.
5. Inclusive Leadership: Leaders who feel their feelings are more attuned to the diverse emotional experiences of their team members, driving inclusivity and a sense of belonging.

In my latest newsletter HERE , I dive deep into the power of feeling our feelings and how it transforms leadership. It’s not just about being aware of emotions but truly embracing them to foster a culture of authenticity and empathy.

Let's lead with heart and soul. ???

#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #InclusiveLeadership #Authenticity #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #TeamCulture

I’m Hope , here to midwife your brave, bold life.?Collaborate with me and resource your life, personally and professionally, beyond your wildest dreams. Join my clients—motivated entrepreneurs, creatives, soulful individuals, and conscious brands.