Beyond the Wheel: Lessons Learned from Getting My Driving License Later in Life

This summer, I finally passed my practical driving test and received my driving license. For some people, this might be nothing extraordinary, but for me, it’s been a significant accomplishment. Like many, I started my driving journey at 18, but I failed the practical driving test several times, developing exam anxiety. I felt lots of shame, especially when comparing myself to others my age who seemed to pass effortlessly. Eventually, I decided to abandon the project as it became too expensive, and: I felt like I failed in that moment.

I stopped this project for 14 years, procrastinating to continue and always finding excuses why it’s never a good moment to start again.

Last year, I decided to revisit it, stepping out of my comfort zone. Being some years wiser, I approached it as a new learning project, challenge and did my best to create a good learning environment for myself.

Here are some reflections:

Choosing my driving teacher: In the past, I attended classes with instructors who made me uncomfortable while driving—some would, for instance, scream and discourage me from driving. My younger self believed I would never grasp the skills needed to drive, and I accepted that narrative. This time around, I was intentional about selecting a driving school and instructor that fostered comfort and a positive attitude toward driving. I wanted to learn from someone who inspires me and helps me on my journey to become a good driver. Instead of being a victim in this situation, I took control, conducting thorough research on driving schools and instructors. Fortunately, luck was on my side this time! ??

Changing my mindset: That one was the most challenging part. I became aware of beliefs stemming from past experiences that hindered my progress.? I consistently held a mental image of myself failing the exam and criticizing my driving skills. To counter this, I embarked on a continuous journey of reframing my thoughts. I transitioned from 'I can't pass this exam' and 'I’ll never be a good driver' to 'I'll definitely pass this exam; I'm a good driver.'

I started visualizing how I would feel passing the exam successfully and wrote positive affirmations about driving for myself. This process took several months and was not always easy, I had a lot of setbacks as old patterns resurfaced. I can definitely recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza and his meditations; the exercises helped me to rewire my thoughts and my own beliefs.?

Avoiding comparisons: I made a conscious effort to cease comparing myself to others (though it wasn't always easy!), especially those who passed the exam already at very young age. Recognizing that comparing my personal journey to others is counterproductive and only reinforces my old mindset, I took deliberate steps to refrain from such comparisons. Additionally, I discovered the value of openly discussing my fear of the driving exam. To my surprise, I found that more people grappled with driving exam anxiety or driving anxiety than I had initially thought. It became evident—I was not alone!

Getting support: I had lots of support from friends and family on this journey, and I'm very thankful for that. I also took some sessions on how to cope with driving exam anxiety and incorporated breathing exercises before my driving classes, to calm down my nervous system. When I knew the exam was imminent, I took some days off to prepare and focus solely on the exam. I told nobody about taking the exam; I just did it. Before the exam, I isolated myself from other people and focused on my positive driving affirmations, and tried my best to stay in a good energy.

I can't describe the feeling with my own words when passed that exam. In addition, I absolutely love driving and take every opportunity to do it!???

In a nutshell: Some things take time. I realized in my process, that it was mostly not about my driving abilities but my mindset and the negative story that I kept telling myself. I always focused on improving my driving skills (which is of course important), but I had an old and negative mindset in place. Being able to overcome that and reframing the story, is such a gift for me. I look forward to new projects to learn and grow!?

So for anyone who struggles with an individual project or is failing at something - I’ve failed the practical driving exam 7 times in total. I wanted to give up many times, but I’m so glad I didn’t!

In the end, it doesn't matter how often you fail. It matters what you did along the way to accomplish it. Don’t give up!