Beyond Stinky Cheese & Raspberry Ripple To A Peace of Presence

In the Christmas slow down, an old pattern of feeling anxious resurfaced for me. This ‘anxiousness’ manifests as a blend of sadness and fear with a sprinkle of anger. I call them ‘stinky feelings.’

In the past, I‘d look at my world and point to things out there that I believed to be the source of my angst and try to make changes or think differently.

However, having learned that our minds work more like a projector – creating from the inside-out rather than like a camera – capturing what’s out there, I see that these ‘causes’ are simply, pegs to project my inside-out created feelings upon.

Let me explain what I mean.

It’s tempting to hang feelings like winter hats, coats and scarfs on pegs and point to them as the causes of my angst.

I could reel off a whole list of pegs such as;

1.    My father being in hospital

2.    A couple of tragic stories that people have told me about over the holidays

3.    Some clients being late paying our invoices

4.    That the tenants in our rental cottage have given notice they’re leaving

5.    Dull weather, mucky fields, not nice to go for walks

6.    That I haven’t been on holiday for so long, I need to get away to the sun

7.    That I have 1,000 things to do and sometimes don’t know where to begin

8.    That I’m drinking too much tea and caffeine sends my mind into a whirl

I could go on…

And I’m sure everyone on the planet has a list of pegs to hang their feelings - positive ones and negative ones.

In the past I’d have tried to make myself feel better by;

1. Telling myself better stories – (stories are powerful - when used well)
2. Doing something creative (e.g. taking photos like the one atop the page)
3. Making a plan and lots of lists and ticking things off one by one (that tiny dopamine hit is amazing)
4. Reducing caffeine (but I love tea)
5. Getting out in the fresh air for a walk (exhilarating)
6. Catching up with friends (always a joy)
7. Taking a trip or booking a holiday (how exciting)
8. Going to a cafe or a watching movie ( )

These are all wonderful things to do but are not necessary or ideal in trying to fix a feeling!

The trouble with doing these things to change a stinky feeling is that when I think these activities are the source of my peace and happiness, I wind up believing that I have to keep doing them in order to feel good.

And that's simply not true.

Instead, what I see now is that the energy of life is flowing through me as it flows through everyone.  However, the attention I’m giving to all these ‘issues’ is infusing this pure life energy with a distinct flavor.  

If this life energy was ice cream, in it’s purest form it would have no particular flavor at all. But as it flows through, it picks up the essence of our thoughts in the moment.  

The blend that gets created might be delicious – let’s say raspberry ripple - or not so tasty – let’s say stinky cheese and whichever flavor is created is the one we'll feel. 

While raspberry ripple is nicer (for me), stinky cheese isn’t a problem until I forget that I made it. Unintentionally. And crucially, I don’t have to eat stinky cheese or serve it up to anyone else. I can leave the stinky and wait for the universal ice cream van to bring me more raw ice cream to flavor up again.

Shaking off the stinky cheese flavor is hard if I think it’s real and that I’m stuck with it. Or that I have to spice it up somehow and turn my lemons into lemonade, as it were.

Today, however, as I pondered my stinky feelings – I thought about the word PRESENCE because I’ve chosen it as my word for 2018 (I love having a word for the year).  When I chose PRESENCE it came as an intuitive nudge without clarity on what exactly it would mean for me.  More like a word to explore and play with.

So, sitting in a comfy chair in our living room, looking into the garden with a whirlwind of stinky feelings wafting around me, I saw that I’d fallen into the trap of thinking these feelings were real and trying to shake them off.  

A bare tree branch, with lots of little twigs moving in the wind, caught my eye.  The family of branches made a pretty pattern against the sky – as all the little twigs danced in the wind. I found myself drawn in. The light behind was beautiful. 

Just then, I noticed my mind had gone quiet, momentarily. There I was with the dancing tree, the bright sky that gorgeous light.

And lo and behold, the stinky feelings had disappeared. In their place was the pure energy of life with the subtle flavor of my personal thinking about a dancing tree.

I was PRESENT. 

And what I experienced was a wonderful sense of peace. 

I’m not suggesting for a moment that ‘tree gazing’ is the new antidote to stinky feelings!

But, what I saw is that when I’m caught up in angst to any degree, I’m less present. Being more present brings more peace and I believe that’s true for all of us. 

Wishing you a peaceful New Year!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on stinky feelings and PRESENCE too? 

 If you held on for the ride and got to here - thank you. Please COMMENT and SHARE on LINKEDIN, FACEBOOK & TWITTER. 

About the Author:

Claire Taylor is a co-founder of The Story Mill and author of The Tao of Storytelling.

About The Story Mill:

At The Story Mill, we believe that every business problem can be resolved by connecting people. We help to build better chemistry, be that in leadership, within teams or selling to your customers. We work with live, written, visual and video storytelling.

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