Beyond the Smile: Rethinking Women's Emotional Expression in the Office

As a society, we've come a long way in recognizing the importance of diversity and inclusion in the workplace. However, today I want to discuss one microaggression that has caught my attention: respecting emotion at work. I decided to explore the expectations placed on emotion, specifically on my facial expressions and those of other women, why it's problematic, and how we can create a more inclusive and supportive work environment for everyone.

Expectations and the "Grumpy Face"

Believe it or not, I once had a boss tell me to stop it with the "grumpy face." This got me thinking: what is the expectation of our faces, especially for women in the workplace? It is not uncommon for people to expect women to be pleasant and wear a smile at all times. However, this expectation is not only ludicrous but can also be detrimental to the well-being and productivity of women in the workplace. I think it may have been detrimental to me as well.

Why is this expectation problematic?

Expecting anyone to maintain a "happy face" against all odds can be detrimental to their mental health and hinder their creative process. When I'm fully immersed in my work or problem-solving, my facial expressions may not necessarily reflect happiness or contentment, but that doesn't mean I'm not being productive. I am so into the deep tunnels of my mind while working; I am visualizing numbers or reordering formulas or making graphics 'feel just right' so honestly, I can't control my face. AND, when I can control it, AND when it's grumpy, maybe that isn't such a bad thing. Maybe there's a root to this...

Research shows that suppressing emotions can lead to increased stress, decreased job satisfaction, and a decline in overall well-being. A study by the American Psychological Association found that individuals who suppress their emotions are more likely to experience lower job satisfaction and increased negative emotions at work. Give me room to be pensive and let my face fall a little, I promise, I err on the side of smiling, so if it falls, there's a reason.

To foster a more inclusive work environment, we must change our approach to and our uncomfortable state around emotions in the workplace. Here are tips I allow for in my company:

1. Embrace the full spectrum of emotions: Recognize that emotions are a natural part of the human experience, and allow your team the freedom to express themselves without judgment or expectation. I don't mind a good cry session or leaving for a walk or using that meditation room. Do it, use it, be human. I have felt this way and needed space to work through this. Sometimes, my coworkers were the best ones to 'get it.'

2. Understand the source of emotions: Instead of labeling these expressions as "grumpy" or "unprofessional," try to understand the underlying emotions and the reasons behind them. By doing so, we can create a more empathetic and supportive work environment. I have often found that my teammate needed many things that work couldn't give them that wound up alleviating their work stress—mostly, flexibility on time could help find the source of the emotion lying somewhere in the recovery methodologies of health and wellness gurus: extra sleep, taking half a day off, taking a weekend out, gaining perspective, enjoying a restful weekend, recovering from a cold, spending time outside of work, working in a new environment, or so many things. There are reasons for emotion, so asking someone to simply turn off their grumpy face likely won't get to the source of the issue.

3. Encourage authenticity: Allow coworkers and teammates to be their true selves at work, without fear of judgment or repercussions. By encouraging authenticity, we foster an environment where everyone can contribute their unique perspectives and talents. I get mixed feedback on this but have only had success with this approach in my career. I'm not saying give up on decorum or professionalism, but I am saying, be someone, anyone, authentic, human.

4. Reevaluate expectations: We must challenge societal norms and expectations that place undue pressure on workers and women in the workplace to present a certain way all the time. I have seen most of the people who worked for me cry at one point or another and most of the time it was something outside work that was taking a toll. Even when a teammate would show up in a 'mood' there would be room to process through it, not just ask them to turn it off. By doing so, we can create a more inclusive environment that values individuality and emotional expression.

Conclusion

As a former professional model, I understand the importance of presentation, but sometimes it's essential to keep it real. By embracing authenticity and respecting our emotions in the workplace, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment that benefits everyone. Let's foster a culture that appreciates the beauty of the human experience, even when it looks a little grumpy.