Beyond Sight: The Unseen Threads of Connection
Trey Toler
I Elevate Business By Putting the Human Experience First. Simple as That. | Fuse President
This year, I dug in deep, committing to put pen to paper more often, both in my work and personal life. A theme throughout the year is connection.
Human connection is our life's backstage pass — it’s the real deal that amps up our passion, ignites the imagination, and stamps our days with purpose. Yet, in the rush of our everyday, we often sideline connection as if it's just another app running in the background of our busy lives. And sometimes, the most profound connections catch us off-guard, in moments we never anticipated.
This Thanksgiving, my family and I traveled from Atlanta to Salt Lake City. There I was in my seat, headphones in, scrolling through movies, secretly wishing for an empty seat next to me. That wish was scrapped when a Delta attendant escorted a woman, probably in her 60s or 70s, with a white cane to the seat beside me.
I jumped in to help her with her bag, trying to make our flight a bit more comfortable. Once airborne, we struck up a conversation. She shared that her blindness had slowly intruded on her life during her twenties, amidst her doctoral studies. Curiosity got the best of me, and I asked about her travels. Turned out, she was wrapping up a visit with her son and grandchild in Atlanta and was now heading back to Salt Lake, with her husband a few rows ahead (drop a pin in this for a minute).
Continuing our mid-flight chat, I asked if she wanted a glass of wine—a question that soon turned our casual conversation into a more intimate exchange over drinks. She was genuinely interested in my life, prompting me to unexpectedly lead with a personal triumph: completing the first draft of my book this year. It’s not something I typically broadcast, especially not to someone I've just met, but in that moment, it felt right to share.
I avoided the polished pitch and kept it raw. The seed of the book was planted in grief; my mother's sudden passing a decade ago knocked the wind out of me. I dove into how, for 24 years, I battled self-resentment over my sexuality, a struggle most of my family still doesn't fully acknowledge, given their views on my partner, kids and our life together.
The heart of my book is crafted from struggle, a raw testament not just for reading, but the vehicle for reaching out to those grappling with their own internal storms. I shared my vision: to fuse the real talk of motivational speaking with the unfiltered humor of my past and the solid reality of my career.
She appreciated my openness and turned the dialogue to her days in academia, pursuing a doctorate in psychology. She faced a unique challenge, though — not from a lack of preparation or drive but from a world not yet ready to see her needs. Blindness meant repeated failures, not of her doing, but of an institution's limitations. Eventually, she found a program that recognized her potential, ultimately leading to a celebrated career teaching vital life principles and penning best-sellers - wow!
Unexpectedly, she gave me a gift — she said my story inspired her. Suddenly, I found myself in that rare hush. Here was this powerhouse — an accomplished author and doctor, someone who'd shattered barriers I couldn’t even begin to understand, telling me I was her inspiration to complete her last project.
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Then, she dropped a bombshell that shifted everything — she was visiting her son in Atlanta because she's facing terminal pancreatic cancer, with just a handful of months left. Tears fell down my face, and I took a moment, trying to find my footing before half-jokingly asking her, "Why'd you have to go and drop that on me?"
Her laugh, amidst it all, was like a shot of life. She believed we were seat-mates for a reason. That our paths crossed in that cramped space between altitudes wasn't random—it was scripted by the unseen. She confessed she'd been wrestling with her final book, but our exchange, that unexpected dive into each other's lives, lit the spark she needed to finish it.
It was one of those flights that remind you of the stories all around us, how everyone has chapters we know nothing about, and how a simple conversation can turn a routine flight into a memorable slice of life.
Intentional listening forms powerful connections. It's a skill that, once mastered, not only connects us, but sends a wave of transformation in both our professional and personal spheres. It doesn't take a momentous occasion to make these connections.
My own epiphany came not in a meeting, or networking event, but seated next to a stranger on a flight. It's in the everyday interactions — a LinkedIn conversation, a coffee with a neighbor, reconnecting with an old associate — where we can find profound wisdom and unexpected opportunities for growth.
No, this article is not exclusive to the realm of professionalism, business or leadership. Connection is bigger than that. I hope you feel an urge to reach out, to embrace the stories around you, and let them transform you. In doing so, you'll find that the most impactful connections are not just in grand gestures or pivotal moments, but in the everyday willingness to exchange, learn, and be moved by the people we meet.
#HumanConnection #IntentionalListening #TransformativeConversations #PersonalGrowth #EmpathyInPractice #CommunicationSkills
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Absolutely loved reading about your enlightening experience! ?? As Maya Angelou beautifully stated, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Your journey underscores the beauty of unexpected connections and their profound impact on us. Speaking of meaningful impact, your story resonates with Treegens' mission to deepen connections with our planet. ???? Perhaps, your narrative could intertwine with our upcoming initiative - a sponsorship opportunity for the Guinness World Record of Tree Planting. Imagine the stories and connections that will stem from this! ??? Explore here: https://bit.ly/TreeGuinnessWorldRecord
Experienced Marketing Leader: senior strategic business lead | client partner | helping brands drive YOY growth
11 个月Great reminder that everyone has a struggle, triumph, and valuable to share to make our collective human experience more meaningful. Thanks for spreading some wisdom…
Director of Advertising, Southeast at USA TODAY NETWORK Connecting brands with consumers at scale through local-to-national solutions leveraging high-impact digital advertising, branded content, print and events.
11 个月Trey, this is great. Reminds me of something an old boss used to remind us of, “you never know who you’re sitting next to on an airplane”. While I think he meant that more as a warning to watch our behavior ;-) it also reminds us to be aware and empathetic. As I tell my kids, the world gets a lot smaller when you just say “hello”. And you never know where that conversation may lead as you’ve illustrated here.
Business Builder | Accounts Leader | Marketing Leader | Creative Group Leader
11 个月I love this, Trey. And I'm with you on the unexpected beauty of random encounters. I've had a lot of really amazing conversations with Uber/ Lyft drivers, actually. Yeah, I'm that guy.
Video/Film Production for Brands & Agencies | Marketing Content ?? Commercial Production | Creative Storytelling for Business | President Elect @ AMA Atlanta | ?Glass 1/2 Full?
11 个月Extraordinary story and experience. This is what makes you… you. Thank you for sharing. And here’s to more listening and openness in 2024. ???