Beyond Self-Reliance: The Power of Community and Connection

I've often seen this quote floating around that say's "no one's coming to save you" and "you've got to change your own life". To a degree, l agree. We are in charge of our own lives, our choices and actions.

But, my concern is that this kind of statement can breed a state of hyper individualism and over reliance on oneself, which leads us to avoid and negate the very things that make us successful, individually and collectively, which is: other people.

Relationships, community, supporting each other, belonging. This is in our nature. We need each other. None of us can survive alone.

To say "no one's coming to save you" can also make for a very lonely existence! Just feel into it for a moment... no one's coming?! For many people (not all), that's a horrible possibility. How isolating. How hopeless. How sad! And when living by this idea, how much pressure are you putting on yourself to figure it all out alone?

I know this quote is meant to 'pump you up'. "No one's coming! Get up and save yourself! Raah!" I imagine it being said along with an image or video of some muscle bound body builder roaring at the camera.

Look, if it works for you, I get it. If it fires you up, cool! And of course we need some of that self directed, determination and responsibility in our lives. I am not suggesting we should all lie down and live like helpless victims, waiting to be saved.

But I'm just not sure it's a wise premise to live by. And I'm also not sure if it's actually true.

You see, I have been saved. People have helped me, loved me and cared for me, especially when I've been weak and for whatever reason, unable to save myself. And my life has been changed by other people. By the opportunities they've given me, the information they've shared, or just by their mere presence and love.

I've never played the victim or waited to be saved. I take responsibility for my choices and life. But I'm human and I understand that I can't do everything alone. I don't do everything alone. I need people. We all do.

Life on this planet is an ecosystem, we're in it together, we're connected. Altruism, symbiosis, exchange... this is healthy, it's part of the natural order of things, the intelligent design. Why don't we use it?

Rather than being individualistic and thinking "it's all on me, no one's coming to save me, I've got to change my own life" how about adopting some principles that feel more aligned to the natural order of things? For example:

• I am a sovereign being, an individual on this earth
• I get to make my own choices and I take responsibility for my life
• I am also part of a community, a greater whole composed of all mankind
• It's ok to ask for help if I am in need
• It's ok to be vulnerable when I am weak
• At times, others can and will save me because they are kind
• I'm not alone, I'm part of mankind

When I feel into these words, it invites self compassion, a sense of community, belonging and safety. I experience hope, strength, courage and joy. I feel gratitude and a sense of softness and love.

Based on that, I think it's a helpful mantra to live by. And, I'm reminded that you get what you focus on... if you believe that "no one's coming" then they won't come.

So, I choose to believe that people will come, if I need them. I choose to believe that I can change my life, with the help of others. I choose to believe, that I am not alone. Far from it. I'm here, with you. You're here, with me. And there's no doubt in my mind that when we support each other, the better we will be.

#relationships #wellbeing #workplacewellness #resilience #wisdom

I remember reading that a research study of around 800 people found the key to a long, happy and healthy life was relationships. Relationships are also key to our resilience. I know that I wouldn't have made it through any of my toughest challenges alone. I only made it through because of other people who supported me, guided me and held my hand along the way.

We all need our hands held sometimes. And in todays modern world many of us don't have those hands to hold; and if we do, they're virtual hands not real ones.

Whilst we're more digitally connected than ever, we're more personally disconnected than ever. We're also in a loneliness epidemic. What will that do for our resilience, health, wellbeing and success, short and long term? Nothing great, I'm sure.

So, this is definitely an area that I recommend we all actively learn about and work on. Let's stay connected, build healthy relationships, support and take care of each other - at work and at home. Our lives literally depend on it!

If you'd like me to come and talk to your team on this or other topics relating to resilience and wellbeing, give me a shout on [email protected] or send me a DM on LinkedIn. We can discuss pre-set training courses and talks, and bespoke content tailored especially for you. I look forward to hearing from you!

Pinky

www.pinkyjangra.com