Beyond The Seesaw: A Boomer's Guide to Balancing Work And Life In 2024

Legacy. Life. Lessons:? Navigating 50 Years of Experiences

Beyond The Seesaw: A Boomer’s Guide to Balancing Work and Life in 2024

Margie selfishly ruined my well thought out life plans.? At age 24, I was desperate to be a multi-millionaire by age 30.? I wanted to found and head my own company, build a big showy house with a gigantic swimming pool, own an expensive status car, travel the world by private jet and maybe eventually run for President.? Well, maybe I would skip being President.? I was ambitious, yes?? With all that had to be done, I didn’t have time to waste getting married and have kids.? That would slow me down, maybe doom my ambitions.? But she intentionally made me fall in love with her.? What is that saying? We plan our lives: God laughs.? When I excitedly presented my “Plan” to Margie, just months before our wedding, she looked at me with astonishment in her wide eyes, burst into tears and hysterically blurted “No children!?”? “Hmm, maybe.” I said.? “But not certainly not until after I am 30 years old!” I forcefully exclaimed to her.? Fortunately, she married me anyway.?

Reflecting On Life As We Enter 2024

Kicking off 2024, I have been thinking about how serious, focused, and ambitious I was at 24. The recent conversations I have had, especially with some of the young professionals that I mentor today, has had me pondering this.? I have had the privilege and have had a lot of fun mentoring many professionals and executives in my life.? Beginning many decades ago, it has allowed me to intimately get to know Boomers, Gen Xers, Millennials, and now Gen Zers. In general, we Boomers were out clean up the mess our parents had made of the world and show them how to do it correctly.? Gen Xers were privileged being given everything by their Boomer parents. Millennials wanted a good living but were willing to sacrifice money for balance of life.? The generations all seemed to have their serious and ambitious members.? But the Gen Xers I have been mentoring remind me most of me at their age:? They seem to be very serious, anxious, and laser-focused goal oriented to the exclusion of having a personal life.? They have lofty financial goals but they also want to contribute to the world: Save humanity.? I must admit, I wanted wealth but could have cared less about humanity in my 20’s. I admire them for that.? It is their lack of thinking they can have a personal life that alarms me.

I Don’t Have The Time For A Personal Life

“I almost feel guilty watching a movie and not reading books, or working on climate projects.” One 26-year-old said to me recently.? “I can’t get married, have kids and sacrifice my goal of affecting the lives of 100 million people by the time I am 40” another exclaimed.? These are not unusual conversations I have had with Gen Zers.? Yes, the other generations have had their anxieties, stresses and worries about career and married lives.? But the Gen Zers seemed to have taken it to a higher level.? The Gen Zers with whom I have conversed seem to find it difficult to accept the possibility that they can achieve their career and financial goals and still have a personal and social life.? Are you seeing this with Gen Zers? Have you seen it in your generation?

While I am more sensitive recently with Gen Zers, even members of past generations of professionals seem too often to grapple with the idea that achieving professional success requires forgoing personal joys and milestones. I can understand it.? I was there.? I still see it with business owners, executives well into their careers.? I was on that path.? But, after many years, with lots of coaching and generous mentoring, I eventually saw it didn’t work for me.? My mentees, at the beginning of our relationship, all seem to think all decisions are binary:? It must be one way or another, black or white.? I begin to guide them by telling them that this is ?“seesaw” thinking.? For them, it is normally the struggle between personal ambition and personal fulfillment.

The Seesaw Way of Thinking

What is seesaw thinking?? It is a favorite and very often necessary decision-making conversation I have had with mentees over the decades. It always seems appropriate no matter what generation I meet. You know what a see-saw is, right?? A seesaw is a long, narrow board supported by a single pivot point, located at the midpoint (fulcrum) between both ends; as one end goes up, the other goes down. One finds these at parks and school playgrounds, remember those days?? Well, I have realized that people think this way a lot.? For example: If one takes more time off from work (one side goes up), then they will may less money (the other side goes down).? Or, if I have two kids, I won’t make my career goals. Have you ever felt this way?

Instead of thinking seesaw, where one side goes down (bad) ?as the other rises (good), think instead that both sides can possibly rise at the same time:? You can earn the same amount or more money and take more time off, or you can have those two kids and still achieve your career goals.? Once I get my mentees to think of this possibility, the world, ?all of a sudden, changes for them.? They begin to see that success and having a personal life are not mutually exclusive. Life is not a single-track journey towards career achievements; it’s a multifaceted experience where personal and professional aspects coexist and complement each other.

What I Did To Avoid The Seesaw

I was a hard case.? I came from a poor background and I was out to be rich, no matter what.? It took many years ?for me to realize that weaving personal life into one’s professional journey doesn’t detract from achieving monetary success; rather, it enriches the journey. ?But the cultural narrative of my generation scarred me, placing substantial emphasis on professional and business success as the cornerstone of one's identity and worth. This narrative seems not unlike what many other the other generations and current Gen Zers may be thinking. For me, I decided one day to “re-write the script” and change the narrative for me by:

·?????? Reaching out to mentors that were examples of the way I wanted to live, having both success and a rewarding personal life;

·?????? Engaging coaches who challenged my thinking and helped provide pathways for me to choose how I wanted to work and live;

·?????? Made time management changes: Placing time in my weekly, monthly, and annual calendar, in advance, for my spouse, family events, weekends, and vacations:

o?? A favorite (from a coach) was scheduling every Wednesday afternoon off, years in advance, and leaving at 12 noon, no matter what!

·?????? Making sacrosanct the personal time commitments with my family and friends.

How It Worked Out For Me

As I said, I was a hard case.? Changing the script, getting off the seesaw was not easy.? I needed a lot of help.? But as I now look back at my business life and personal life over the many years, I have realized:

·?????? I did not have to sacrifice life, laugher, love and fun with family and friends to achieve success;

·?????? Seeing how valuable it was to me, I began to include “work-life balance” conversations with clients that proved valuable (I would force my exec/business owner clients to put vacations on their calendar);

·?????? I was a role model for my staff for them to enjoy a personal life as well as work diligently;

·?????? This has allowed me the good fortune to have lived a rich and enviable life.

Having a family, engaging in social activities, and allowing me to enjoy life’s pleasures were decisions that eventually brought balance to my life. They provided a support system, a source of happiness, and a means to recharge, all of which only enhanced my success in achieving my professional and financial goals. I learned how to live, love and have fun as well as work.? Are you getting the most out of your personal life as well as your work life?

In conclusion, my experiences as a baby boomer and a mentor have shown me that while it’s vital to have career ambitions and work diligently towards them, it’s equally important to cherish and prioritize personal life. Take your spouse out on a date.? Take the family to a ball game.? Get everyone involved in planning the annual vacation.? The journey to professional success can and must include moments of personal fulfillment and joy. To all generations, I share this wisdom: Passionately strive for your professional and financial dreams, but don’t forget to celebrate life along the way. BTW, I did have children! Thank you Margie.? But I did decide to forego running for President!

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