Beyond Roses: Finding Resilience on Valentine's Day

Love is a beautiful thing, but let's be honest: Valentine's Day can be a rollercoaster. Societal expectations, commercial hype, and the pressure to create a perfect romantic moment can leave even the most resilient feeling vulnerable. But what if we reframed this day, not just for celebrating romantic love, but for celebrating resilience in all its forms? After all, love is an action, not a feeling... Even more than that, it's a conscious choice.

Think about it: resilience is the ability to bounce back from challenges, adapt to change, and find strength in the face of adversity. It's the quality that helps us weather emotional storms, mend broken hearts, and build meaningful connections, regardless of relationship status. In many ways, love and resilience go hand in hand.

My wife and I will have been married 10 years this July (we celebrated our 17th dating anniversary back in January). We did a lot of reflecting on when we first started dating and how we have grown and gone through the rollercoaster of our lives together. We kept coming back to one subject... Resilience.

Here's how we can turn Valentine's Day into a celebration of resilience:

• Redefine love: Love isn't just about grand gestures and expensive gifts. It's about genuine care, appreciation, and support for yourself and others. Show love to your friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers with acts of kindness and compassion, not just when it's convenient, or you feel like it. If someone matters to you, show them.
• Practice self-care: In order to be consistent in showing love, you have to fill your cup in order to pour into others. It's about prioritizing your well-being. Take time for activities you enjoy, set healthy boundaries, and don't be afraid to say no to things that drain your energy.
• Embrace community: Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift you. Organize a potluck with friends, volunteer for a cause you care about, or join a club or activity. Remember, you're not alone. Recently, my wife and I started visiting a skilled nursing and rehabilitation center with our church. At first glance, we thought, "we're already drained from all of the activities we do throughout the week, how are we going to muster up energy to do this?" Surprisingly, seeing how the residents were uplifted just from us being there was absolutely refreshing.
• Reframe challenges: If you're facing heartbreak, rejection, or any other difficulty, see it as an opportunity to grow stronger. Use this experience to learn about yourself, develop new coping mechanisms, and emerge more resilient than before.
• Celebrate self-love: The most important love of all is the love you have for yourself. Be your own biggest cheerleader. Acknowledge your strengths, forgive yourself for mistakes, and treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you show others.

Remember, resilience isn't about avoiding challenges or pretending to be happy when you're not. It's about facing difficulties head-on, learning from them, and coming out stronger on the other side. So, this Valentine's Day, let's celebrate not just romantic love, but the incredible power of resilience within each of us. Happy Valentine's Day!

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with resilience in the comments below!