Lessons from my Coast-to-Coast Trip Across America while Living with strangers

August 2016 to November 2016: The time period when political slogans like "Make America Great Again" and "Forward Together" were thrown around like confetti at a New Year's party, and everyone seemed to have an opinion about everything. It was a time of sharp divides, heated debates, and, for me, a time of… well, transition. My family had already made the sensible move back to India for the classic reasons: aging parents, giving the kids a proper grounding with extended family, and of course, enjoying the perks of domestic help ( #R2I goals! ). Meanwhile, I was left stateside with four months to go before wrapping up my US-based role, mainly to work through the delightful world of global-tax complications. Someone had to stay behind and face the spreadsheets, right? Cisco, in its tech wisdom, let me work from anywhere with a peaceful environment and a decent Wi-Fi connection. I thought, why not make the most of it?

With no fixed address and a one-way ticket out of the country, I set out on an adventure that would take me coast-to-coast, from Cupertino to Boston. But this wasn’t some Instagram-worthy road trip filled with national parks and latte art. I decided to live with the people of America, staying in their homes through Airbnb, cooking meals together, and hearing their stories. It was an immersion, not only in breathtaking landscapes of National Parks, but in lives.

Starting in St. George, Utah: Mormons, Pot Roast, and Big Questions

First stop, St. George, Utah. I found myself in the heart of Mormon country, staying with a lovely family who invited me not just into their home, but into their community. Jenna, the mother, had three young children and a very open door policy. When I asked why she was so willing to host strangers, she said, “If I can’t go to the world, I’d like the world to come to me through Airbnb.” And there I was in their world, for two weeks.

Now, as a Silicon Valley agnostic, I hadn’t exactly penciled in “attend church” on my travel itinerary, but I figured, why not? So I went. Twice. And you know what? It was fascinating. Sitting in that pew, I realized faith wasn’t just a set of beliefs here; it was a way of life. The Mormon community was tight-knit, warm, and welcoming. We shared meals (that pot roast...heavenly), talked about family values, and yes, inevitably, politics. Our views couldn’t have been more different, but the conversations were always filled with respect and curiosity. I left Utah with a greater understanding of how faith, family, and tradition shape people’s lives in ways that are different from my own experience.

Palisade, Colorado: Poppy, Her Bees, and a Vineyard of Wisdom

Next stop, Palisade, Colorado, where I stayed with Poppy, a 75-year-old dynamo who ran a medical supplies store by day and managed a sprawling vineyard in her spare time. Poppy didn’t just invite me into her home, she introduced me to her bees, three massive bee feeders buzzing away in her yard that she kept feed with delicately crafted solution of sugar water, and made me breakfast every morning that would put any five-star hotel to shame. On her fridge was a magnet that said, "Well-behaved women rarely make history," and believe me, Poppy was not in the business of behaving. She challenged every social norm to be a powerful business woman who also single handedly managed an entire vineyard.

She took me along to Lions Club meetings, showed me around her medical store, and generally imparted a wisdom that only comes from a life well-lived. Her home was filled with stories, of business, marriages, of community, of resilience. If you asked Poppy about the world, she’d tell you it’s always changing, but if you ask her about what matters? Kindness, hard work, and a good breakfast.

Eagle, Colorado: Catholic Church, Rock Concerts, and Bow Hunting

After Palisade, I spent a month in Eagle, Colorado, staying with Taylor and Kenny, a young, unmarried couple. Taylor’s family took me to a Catholic church service with them. I couldn’t help but notice how marriage seemed to be a decision many young couples like Taylor and Kenny were taking their time with, deliberate, thoughtful, and not rushed. It gave me a new perspective on how younger generations approach commitment, and how different this was from what I was used to seeing.

The real culture shock, however, came when Kenny’s mother invited me to a rock concert at the legendary Red Rocks Amphitheater near Denver. Nothing says “immersing in American culture” like standing in an outdoor amphitheater, surrounded by red rock formations, and feeling the ground shake to the beat of a live band. It was an experience like no other, and I left with a newfound appreciation for the “rock and roll” spirit that so often defines Americana.

To cap off the Eagle experience, I joined Kenny on a (legal) hunting trip, using bow and arrow, no less! I won’t lie, it felt like stepping back into another time. The hunt ended with us eating meat type that let's leave at saying wasn’t exactly part of most of our diets. Here I want to clarity, while I home, I maintain Vegan/Vegetarian diet, however while traveling cross-culturally, prefer to immerse in host's life to true justice to my experience.

I even found myself at Taylor’s cousin’s wedding, held on the breathtaking Vail mountain top, which we reached via ski lift. In a charming twist, the priest introduced me to the wedding crowd as the 'special Indian guest from California.' It was one of those moments where life feels both surreal and deeply connected.

Kansas City: BBQ and Conversations on Race

Then it was off to Kansas City, Missouri, where I stayed with an African American family who didn’t just invite me in for a stay, they invited me into their world. And let me tell you, their world was as rich and layered as the barbecue they served. Over plates of ribs (seriously, I’m still dreaming about that sauce), we talked about the state of race relations in America. For them, the 2016 election was about more than policies; it was about survival, dignity, and justice.

Hearing firsthand stories of generational struggles made me realize that, as much as I thought I knew about America’s racial divide, I had only scratched the surface. The conversations were raw, real, and necessary. They opened my eyes to a side of the American experience I had not lived but needed to understand.

Washington DC: Walking with a Swiss Gold Star Lesbian PhD

From the heartland to the capital, Washington DC brought me face-to-face (next door room in the AirBnB home) with a Gold Star lesbian Swiss PhD student who was researching world languages and working at the Library of Congress. We debated LGBTQ+ issues while strolling around the Washington Memorial, and every conversation peeled away another layer of my preconceptions. She gave me a fresh perspective on rights, identity, and the battles being fought every day, not just in courts, but in hearts and minds.

Her intellectual rigor was impressive, but it was her personal experiences that truly struck me. As we walked and talked, I realized that for her, the fight for LGBTQ+ rights was about far more than political talking points, it was about her right to live fully and authentically. It made me question how much I had really understood about the stakes involved for communities outside my own.

North Conway, New Hampshire: A Final Chapter with a Special Family

And finally, North Conway. After four months of hopping from city to city, my last long stay was with a mixed-race family, Caucasian and Latin American, who were school teachers raising a child with Down syndrome. The love, patience, and resilience in that household were nothing short of inspiring.

They welcomed me like family, and we shared meals, stories, and laughter that grounded me before my final flight out. Selling my car and boarding that plane felt like closing a chapter of a book, but the lessons I’d learned from that family, and everyone I’d met, would stay with me far beyond North Conway.

And let’s not forget National Cheeseburger Day, where I dutifully honored tradition by sinking my teeth into a beef burger that reminded me of America’s deep love for all things grilled.

Guilty as charged, I may have served up a humble pot of khichadi and convinced the family it was biryani. Let’s just say, I relied heavily on the power of optimism, licorice fragrance of star-anise and a dash of imagination!

My host, moved by my India-to-USA journey, invited me to speak at her public school.

What began as a single session with 8th graders turned into three, with middle and high schoolers packing the hall. As I stood before a sea of white, blonde students, I felt like a fish out of water. My first question, "How many own an Apple phone?"... saw about 30% raise their hands. But when I asked who knew Cupertino or Silicon Valley and would like to work there some day, just two hands went up. Maybe it was my accent, I thought, but after the principal repeated the question, the result didn’t change.

It was eye-opening. Born in India, living in Silicon Valley, I stood before American students who had little knowledge of the tech hub that immigrants like me flock to. Most of their dream jobs? Truck drivers or firefighters, with their biggest goal being a move to Boston. Nothing wrong with those choices, but I couldn’t help but think how unaware they were of the world’s broader tech opportunities. It left me wondering how we bridge this gap, ensuring they’re prepared for the future knocking at their doors.

Awakening: Life Is Bigger Than Politics

So, what did this journey teach me? That America, for all its divisions, is still bound together by something far deeper than politics. Yes, the 2016 election was divisive, there’s no getting around that. But when I sat down in people’s homes & churches, when I cooked with them, listened to their stories, and shared my own, I realized that beyond the soundbites and slogans, we’re all just people trying to make the best of our lives.

It didn’t matter if they were Mormon, Catholic, Atheist, African, Latin-American, LGBTQ+, or immigrant, everyone I met was driven by the same desires: love, belonging, and the hope for a better future for themselves and their families.

Maybe that’s what we’re missing these days. In a world full of noise, we’ve forgotten how to listen. So instead of sticking to our bubbles, our “safe cocoons” maybe we should find strength to break out of them. Maybe the key isn’t to jump out of wells like frogs, but to simply walk across the street, knock on a neighbor’s door, and listen.

After all, we might not agree on everything, but there’s a good chance we can all agree that the world needs more breakfasts like Poppy’s.

As we approach another divisive election in November 2024, I can’t help but feel déjà vu. My 2016 journey taught me that, beyond the divisions, the real power lies in listening to one another. It’s a lesson I keep coming back to... one we all could use right now.

Shoutout to Airbnb for making this life-changing adventure possible. Who knew renting strangers’ basements could lead to so much personal enlightenment (and great breakfast recipes)

Amazing pictures from the journey (of places, but not of people) at my past Instagram Feed: https://www.instagram.com/p/BLwTsLUDaTv/?igsh=MWRobGlycHdjbTR6dw==