Beyond Normal: 5 Truths About Parenting Unique Minds

Parenting neurodivergent children is a journey that's as unique as the children themselves. Recently, I had an eye-opening conversation with Andy and Cassie, parents of four children, two of whom are neurodivergent. Their insights challenged my thinking about raising children with different needs and I believe they could be game-changers for many of you seeking to live your best life every day.

The Myth of "Normal"

One of the most profound takeaways from our conversation was the realization that neurodivergence isn't about being "abnormal." It's about having a brain that's wired differently. As Andy put it, "Everybody's going to have some pieces of their personality that fall on the weird side." This perspective shift is crucial. Instead of trying to "fix" our children, we need to focus on understanding and supporting them. It's not about changing who they are, but helping them navigate a world that might not always understand them.

The Power of Early Intervention

Cassie emphasized the importance of early intervention repeatedly. "Early intervention. Early intervention. Early intervention," she stressed. This doesn't just mean identifying issues early; it means advocating for your child as soon as possible. If you suspect your child might be neurodivergent, don't wait. Reach out to your school district, pediatrician, or local support services. Remember, you're your child's best advocate. As Andy pointed out, "You need to intervene on your child's behalf as early as possible... because that gives them the most time to catch up."

Understanding Overstimulation

Many neurodivergent children struggle with overstimulation, but it doesn't always look like what you might expect. Andy explained, "Some kids just shut down. It's amazing how many neuro spicy kids, when they get overstimulated, it's literally just overwhelmed and they don't know how to respond anymore." Learning to recognize your child's signs of overstimulation and finding effective coping strategies is crucial. This might involve: - Creating a quiet, safe space for your child - Using weighted blankets or pressure holds - Allowing your child to engage in soothing activities like reading Remember, what works one day might not work the next. Flexibility and patience are key.

The Challenge of Social Interactions

One of the biggest hurdles for many neurodivergent children is navigating social interactions. Andy shared his own experience: "I used to, when I was given any news that was not good... I would normally just sit there and be like, oh, I don't know what to respond with that." Teaching social skills to neurodivergent children often requires explicit instruction and lots of practice. It's not about changing who they are, but giving them tools to interact more comfortably with the world around them.

The Importance of Self-Awareness

Cassie shared a touching story about their daughter telling a friend, "Sometimes I say things and they sound mean. And so you have to tell me that because I'm not trying to be mean." This level of self-awareness is incredible and speaks to the hard work both the parents and the child have put in. Encouraging this kind of self-awareness in our children - neurodivergent or not - can lead to more empathy, better communication, and stronger relationships.

Balancing Support and Independence

While it's crucial to support our neurodivergent children, we also need to be careful not to use their neurodivergence as a crutch. Andy expressed his concern about this: "I didn't want her to use it as a crutch. I did not want her... to be like, well, I'm autistic so I don't have to merge with society." The goal is to provide support while also encouraging independence and resilience. It's a delicate balance, but an important one to strive for.

The Most Important Advice

When asked for their most important advice for parents of neurodivergent children, Andy and Cassie offered these gems: 1. Listen more than you talk: "Are you waiting to talk or are you listening?" Andy asked. Really hearing our children can make a world of difference. 2. Seek early intervention: Cassie stressed the importance of getting support as early as possible. Don't wait if you have concerns. 3. Be your child's advocate: You know your child best. Trust your instincts and fight for what your child needs.

Parenting neurodivergent children comes with unique challenges, but it also offers incredible opportunities for growth, love, and understanding. Remember, every child is unique, neurodivergent or not. Our job as parents is to support them, advocate for them, and help them become the best version of themselves. What strategies have you found helpful in supporting the neurodivergent children in your life? Share your experiences in the comments below. Let's learn from each other and create a more inclusive world for all our children.

Are you navigating the complex world of parenting a neurodivergent child?

Over the last 2 weeks I have talked with an expert in helping families understand and raise their Neurodivergent children and the parents of multiple neurodivergent children. This newsletter is just a small piece of those conversations. For a more detailed look at understanding and raising neurodivergent children; check out the full interview with Andy and Cassi on any podcast player or Here

You can also check it out on YouTube or Below.