Beyond the Message

Crafting Authentic Connections in LinkedIn DMs

LinkedIn has evolved into a hub for making meaningful connections.

But...

How many of us have sent or received a message that felt like it was generated by a robot—or worse, left an impression that was anything but genuine?

The Cold vs. Warm Approach

When we reach out on LinkedIn, our messages generally fall into two categories: cold or warm. A cold message comes with the expectation that the person may not be familiar with us at all.

This is often where the “copy-paste” approach thrives. But while templates save time, they can also sacrifice the very thing we’re all after—authenticity.

A warm message, on the other hand, is meant to feel familiar, engaging, and considerate of prior interactions. Perhaps we’ve commented on a recent post, shared an event, or have mutual connections. These messages naturally feel more genuine because they acknowledge shared experiences.

What We Think vs. What They Perceive

Every message we send carries a dual story: the one we intend and the one that’s received. In our heads, a message might sound courteous, or even compelling. However, on the receiving end, that same message can come across as indifferent, automated, or even desperate.

When sending DMs, the small details make a big difference. A personal note, a relevant question, or a small acknowledgment of the recipient’s unique journey can mean the difference between connection and dismissal.

Ask yourself, “How would this message feel if it landed in my inbox?”

Strategies for Real, Relatable Outreach

Even when templates are "necessary" (see below), they don’t have to feel templated. Here are a few ways to keep your DMs fresh, purposeful, and authentic:

1. Personalize the First Line: Start with something specific about them—whether it’s a recent post, their company’s latest news, or a mutual connection.
2. Offer Value Before Requesting It: Rather than jumping to your need, offer something of value first, even if it’s a piece of advice, a relevant article, or a genuine compliment. Even this can come across as cold and creepy, so leverage this one appropriately. For example, I utilize a birthday template that includes 3-5 different attachments depending on the person.
3. Create a Connection Point: Establish a commonality, like being from the same state, working in a similar industry, or sharing mutual contacts. This small step can make the message feel less random and more intentional. Additionally, it creates a talking point.
4. End with an Invitation, Not an Expectation: Wrap up with an open-ended question or an invitation to connect further, allowing them to decide if they want to continue the conversation. The best invitation is an open-ended question that requires a thoughtful response. This way you can now enter into dialogue which builds the relationship.
5. Keep it Short and Specific: A short message that goes right to the point shows respect for their time. Think no more than 8 sentences each time.

Are Templates Even Necessary?

Templates have their place, but it’s a bit of a myth that they’re a must for effective outreach. They’re simply tools — not shortcuts to connection.

And...

A tool is only as effective as the person using it.

When used thoughtfully, templates can spark conversations, providing a structured way to invite someone into a dialogue that’s about them.

The right template shouldn’t feel like a form letter; rather, it should encourage interaction, prompting curiosity and setting the stage for an exchange.

In the end, a well-crafted template isn’t about ticking boxes; it’s about opening the door to engagement, keeping the spotlight on the other person, and letting the conversation flow.

TIP: Ensure the conversation always lands on them to respond...

Your Blueprint to Authentic Outreach

For those of you who find messaging a challenge or worry about sounding too scripted, reach out! Let’s discuss ways to craft DMs that resonate. (I realized I have a 21 page scripted DM template I've used for years.

The best flow is a mix of templates and 'real-time' conversations. What questions do you have about this? Ask away below and let's help each other grow.

My Perspective...

Today, where quick interactions are the norm, it’s easy to forget the importance of sincerity in even our briefest exchanges. In my view, messages should invite connection, not just serve an agenda.

When we reach out on LinkedIn, we’re extending our brand into someone else’s world, which is an honor we should treat carefully.

I believe that true connection stems from simple yet sincere gestures, even in a space where networking is often transactional.

If our messages can embody who we are and what we value, they’ll resonate more deeply, and the relationships we build will be stronger.

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Hi! I'm Steven. My mission is to Inspire belief, build relationships, and better the world...

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