Beyond Kindness: Unveiling the Toxicity of 'Pleasant' Aggressors in the Workplace

Certain types of #kindness are just a cover for #aggressiveness.

? I believe that poor communication techniques can be one of the most frustrating things about work, and even the reason for bad #vibes (and consequently, poor #results), the departure of good staff, or even #burnout in a team.

The most typical example of challenging conversationalists we encounter at work are openly #verbally #aggressive individuals ?? - people who speak excessively loud or even shout, use aggressive body language (staring, waving their hands, invading personal space), and offensive language. In most cases, they are disappointed customers, less often a colleague or even a superior.

But in reality, this type of aggressor is far from being the most dangerous for your well-being in the workplace. I dare say that dealing with a covertly aggressive person is much more #toxic in the long run than the occasional encounter with a choleric person. ??

So who are these 'kind' aggressors? These are people who, under the guise of seemingly friendly, accommodating, even affectionate phrases:

→ do not allow the other person to express their own #opinion ?? (they can dominate the speaking time, change the subject, or even reduce the colleague's words and questions into derogatory phrases, for example, "I see you don't understand."),

→ lead and change the flow of #conversation ?? (maintain the main topic in areas where they themselves are strong or where they want to influence), and

→ put #words into the mouths of others ?? (they 'read' their thoughts about how they feel, what they think, what they want to do ..., for example, "So we agree with the proposal, right?").

Most people do not even notice these covert tactics of subjugation; they just feel #helpless, cornered, or ignored. The biggest challenge in dealing with covert aggressors is the fact that they are used to leading others ??, so if you persist long enough with remarks and criticism directed at them (such as questions they don't like), they usually dismiss them with a statement like "I see you just don't get it" and if provoked further, they blame others for their reaction ("I am explaning so that you will understand") or resort to tactics of #manipulation, #gaslighting and #passive #aggressiveness.

Have you had any experience with such people in your work environment? How do you communicate with them? What tactics do you use? ??

#aggressiveness #communication #tactics #hr #burnout #results #relationships #leadership #training #skills #assertiveness #passivity #manipulation