Beyond good manners to make an incredible first, and lasting, impression… Respect is the mother of polite…follow guidelines ….part 189

Occasionally, we meet a person who stands out in the best possible way. He might be remarkably charismatic. She might think remarkable thoughts. And remarkably giving people --they are impossible to ignore.

You're at a party. A friend gestures to someone several steps away and says, "Let me introduce you to Bob." Bob sees you coming.

And he stands there, waiting for you to come to him in some weird power move.

Remarkably polite people, no matter how great their perceived status, step forward, smile, tilt their head slightly downward (a sign of respect in every culture), and act as if they are the one honored by the introduction, not you.

We all want to be respected--by our boss, our colleagues, even our friends and family.

But it takes work to earn that respect. First you have to learn to give respect, act and think with confidence, and learn to be trusted.

 Give more than you get. Give respect to get respect.

 Respect yourself. Respect comes first from within.

 Offer respect. Respect those around you.

 Maintain your integrity. It's the cornerstone of earned respect.

 Keep your promises. We don't respect anyone for making a promise, only for keeping it.

 Add value. The more you focus on adding value for others, the more respect you will get.

Whether between spouses, friends, coworkers, or business acquaintances, if there is a history of mutual respect and sincere gratitude, the people involved are generally happier and more successful.

We live in a world where there are many differences between people, but with an open mind and an appreciation of each person's contributions to this world, we strengthen our relationships and our community. Thus, I strongly believe everyone should make it a habit to look for the unique talents of each person we meet and be respectful of their differences.

We often learn more from our mistakes and failures than our successes as we go through life. It always amazes me that no matter how high the level of organization or person--government, military, doctors, religious leaders, celebrities, scientists, and entrepreneurs--if there is not mutual respect and sincere gratitude, the organization or relationship can quickly fail.

When I was younger, I assumed the individual or organization that was smarter, more talented, and better funded would usually win. Over the years, I have realized this is rarely true. I have seen marriages between presumably incompatible people with a mutual respect, far outlast marriages between "the perfect couple" who never learned to appreciate each other.

Improve your relationships/easy ways to show your gratitude and respect for others:

Listen

I know it sounds easy, but listening--truly listening--can be one of the hardest skills to master. If you want a person to know you respect him or her, then tune into what that person is saying. 

Look them in the eye, put down your cell phone, and offer feedback when necessary. Everyone appreciates the person who willing listens to them and shows genuine interest in what they have to say. 

Encourage

If you've ever had a bad day, then you know the power a little encouragement can have. We've all had moments when we need someone to tell us, "don't worry, things will work out."

It might not seem like much at the time, but that person will remember that you took the time and interest in their feelings and well-being. A smile and uplifting word can truly brighten someone's day. 

Congratulate

If someone does a great job, let them know about it. In fact, let everyone know about it. Openly congratulate someone for a job well done, especially if you're a manager. 

Employees will work harder and happier knowing their manager has a mutual respect for them and is willing to express praise and gratitude when it's deserved. 

Be Helpful

If you find a friend or coworker in a jam, be willing to help them if at possible. Not to say you should take on half their project, but offering some advice or throwing in a bit of your time will mean a lot.

If that friend or coworker has helped you in the past, then returning the favor will be a nice way to show both your respect and gratitude. 

Say Thank You

I'm sure this one seems like common sense, but many people just forget to say thank you or at least forget how to say it with sincerity.

A thank you can be as small as two words or as much as buying someone a gift; nevertheless, if the action is not done with 100% sincerity then it is wasted. 

Make sure people know you appreciate them and their actions. Simply saying it in front of someone else can make a big impact.

With the daily pressures on all of us, we often overlook opportunities to thank and compliment people we are with. Take time to show your appreciation and gratitude. Not only does it make the other person feel better, but you will feel uplifted as well.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.

Thank you … They don't touch unless they are touched first.

(Handshakes excluded, of course.)

Polite people wait for the other person to establish the nonsexual touch guidelines.

While I know that sounds like no one will ever hug or pat a shoulder or forearm because no one can ever go first, don't worry. Huggers hug. Patters pat. Backslappers slap. That's what they do.

Remarkably polite people go a step further: They never pat or squeeze or slap (in a good way), even if they are patted or squeezed or slapped. Sure, they hug back, but they don't reciprocate other forms of touch.

Why? Some people don't even realize they're touching you, but they definitely notice when you touch them. That makes them feel uncomfortable, and discomfort is the last way polite people want other people to feel.

They never let on they know more than they should.

Some people share incessantly on social media. And maybe you occasionally see what they've been up to.

But polite people don't bring those things up. They talk about sports, they talk about the weather, they talk about ‘SUITS “for life in corporate America, but they only talk about personal subjects the other person actually discloses in person.

Maybe it seems like the person wants everyone to know about a personal subject, but in fact that's rarely the case. So unless his or her social media broadcasts were specifically directed to you, always wait.

An acquaintance's mom died a few weeks ago. You see him, and you're not sure whether to bring it up.

Remarkably polite people always bring it up. They keep it simple, like, "I was sorry to hear about your mother. I've been thinking about you and am hoping you're doing OK."

Awkward? Absolutely not. You've expressed your condolences, and now you can both move on: Your friend is no longer wondering if and when you might mention it, and you are no longer wondering whether you should.

Want to add word or two?

They never gossip--or listen to gossip.

It's hard to resist the inside scoop. Finding out the reasons behind someone's decisions, the motivations behind someone's actions, the skinny behind someone's hidden agenda--much less whether Liam is really dating Jeannette from marketing--those conversations are hard to resist.

Remarkably polite people know gossiping about other people makes you wonder what they're saying about you. In fact, when someone starts to talk about someone else, polite people excuse themselves and walk away. They don't worry that they will lose a gossiper's respect; anyone willing to gossip doesn't respect other people anyway.

If you want to share the inside scoop, talk openly about your own thoughts or feelings--then you're not gossiping, you're being genuine. That's what polite people do. But at the same time...

They never speak just to share the greater glory of themselves.

How can you tell? If you're talking about something just because it feels really good to share it, and there's no place for the other person to add value, you're just patting yourself on the back.

When remarkably polite people want to talk about themselves, they ask for advice--but not humblebrag advice like, "I notice you keep your car really clean; what wax do you recommend for a Porsche?"

Ask a question that shows you truly value the other person's expertise or knowledge. The person will feel good, because you implicitly show you trust his or her opinion; you actually get input you can use. Win-win.

And totally polite.

Your comment ….?

They never push their opinions.

We all know things. Cool things. Great things.

Just make sure you share those things in the right settings. If you're a mentor, share away. If you're a coach or a leader, share away. If you're the guy who just started a paleo diet, don't tell us all what to order unless we ask.

Remarkably polite people know that what is right for them might not be right for others--and even if it is right, it is not their place to decide that for you.

Like most things in life, offering helpful advice is all about picking the right spot--and polite people know the right spot is always after you are asked.

They never judge.

They don't judge the person they are speaking to. They don't judge other people. They don't judge other cultures or countries or, well, anything.

Why? Remarkably polite people realize they aren't perfect either.