Beyond Forced Smiles: Communicating in a Toxicly Positive World

In this latest edition of The BE School Newsletter, I will unfold what toxic positivity looks like at work and share strategies to communicate in such times - from my personal experiences. If you are new here, please subscribe to this newsletter to get actionable tips on how to BE.

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Have you recently heard any of this at work?

1. "Just stay positive. Everything will work out."

2. "Look at the bright side. At least you have a job!"

3. "Leave your personal life at the door."

4. "Work is no place for sadness."

5. "Don't worry, be happy – things could be worse."

6. "You just need to think positive thoughts."

7. "Always look for the silver lining in every situation."

8. "Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy!"

9. "No room for negativity here, cheer up!"

10. "Keep smiling. It will all be fine in the end."

Would you call these feel-good words? Do you consider this genuine communication between colleagues? They are just sugar-coated words in the guise of optimism.

It's quietly slipped into our conversations, often stopping us from expressing our emotions. These big words deserve a closer look to see how they affect how we talk and connect. The impact is massive and complicated.

Impact of Toxic Positivity

Thinking "I'm happy no matter what" doesn't work. It's like trying to be happy and upbeat all the time, no matter what's happening. But what's the big deal with that? Well, it messes up real, honest communication.

Acting super-positive always can make it seem like real feelings don't matter. It's like society says it's okay to feel only certain emotions. In work and personal life, this can stop people from really understanding and caring for each other. It promotes the idea that people should hide their emotions and keep smiling. (Believe me, I've been there.)

When toxic positivity takes over, it causes multiple problems: It creates a place where people only have shallow, surface-level talks instead of real, deep connections. Also, the depth and variety of our feelings get lost or misunderstood.

Recognizing Toxic Positivity

To spot toxic positivity, you need to understand the situation at hand. Plus, how people talk to you in these circumstances. You will catch it in those cliché sayings that brush off or belittle how someone truly feels.

Like when someone says, "Just stay positive" or "look on the bright side" without really listening to you. It's all about noticing those little things in conversations where empathetic understanding and care are missing, and instead, there's this pressure to act overly cheerful.

The tricky part is figuring out the difference between actual, genuine positivity – when someone is honestly hopeful for you. On the contrary, toxic positivity is when people ignore or push aside any feelings that aren't super positive.

Effective Communication Strategies

Dealing with toxic positivity means using effective communication- ways that value being genuine. The most critical one is active listening. It means focusing, understanding and answering accordingly (and remembering it). This way, everyone's feelings get noticed and accepted.

Also, it's noteworthy to get good at understanding and handling emotions (developing a mammoth EQ over time). It helps you talk better with others, empathize, get past tough spots, and smooth over disagreements.

Building Genuine Connections

The best way to deal with toxic positivity is to make genuine, honest connections with people. It means accepting all kinds of feelings, like sadness, frustration, or disappointment, as regular and crucial parts of our lives.

Having open talks where no one judges these feelings can help you understand and care for each other. It's about having reciprocal and emotional conversations where originality supersedes everything else.?

It sure doesn't mean you have to be negative. It's about recognizing and welcoming the whole range of feelings, which makes interactions meaningful and more true to life.

To Sum it Up

In short, dealing with toxic positivity is tricky. Sure, being positive is good, but when overdone, it can mess up genuinely connecting with people. If you can spot this kind of too-much positivity and handle it well, you can have authentic and caring conversations.

I am not only discussing talking better; it makes your whole experience with others richer. It helps you value a gamut of real feelings.

Additional Resources

If you want to learn more about this stuff, there's a lot out there. You can read books like "Emotional Agility" by Susan David and get better at handling your feelings and thoughts. There are podcasts like "The Hilarious World of Depression" where you can hear real stories and expert advice about dealing with emotions.

Plus, there are websites and online groups all about mental health where you can find more info and talk to others. Check out these to help you understand more.?

Have you encountered toxic positivity in your own life or at your workplace? How did it affect your interactions and feelings? I'd love to hear your stories and experiences.

Also, if you found this newsletter insightful, please subscribe for more actionable tips and share them with your friends or colleagues who might benefit from this discussion.

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Whether you are a coach, consultant, professional or leader in your organization and wish to improve your communication skills, please DM me and book a no-obligation call to discuss further.

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