Beyond "Difficult" Coworkers: Understanding Communication Styles in the Workplace

I have been reading a few articles on difficult co-workers and recently read @Thomas Erikson’s excellent book “Surrounded by Idiots” This was enlightening and certainly brought me a new perspective.

Have you ever found yourself frustrated with colleagues who seem to work, think, and communicate completely differently from you? While it's tempting to label these coworkers as "difficult," the reality is far more nuanced. Drawing insights from "Surrounded by Idiots," it can provide us with an understanding of different communication styles that can transform workplace relationships.

Difficult Coworker or Misunderstood?

That colleague who sends lengthy, detailed emails when you prefer quick bullet points? Or the one who wants to discuss every decision in person while you'd rather process information independently? They're not being difficult – they're operating from their natural communication style.

Erikson's work highlights four main communication styles, each with its own strengths and preferences:

The Direct Red: Action-oriented and decisive, these colleagues prioritise results and efficiency. They may come across as pushy to others, while they see themselves as simply being efficient.

The Inspiring Yellow: Social and enthusiastic, these team members thrive on interaction and creative discussion. Others might see them as unfocused, while they view themselves as innovative relationship builders.

The Stable Green: Supportive and patient, these coworkers value harmony and stability. Some may view them as overly cautious, while they see themselves as thoughtful and considerate?

The Analytical Blue: Detail-oriented and systematic, these colleagues prioritise accuracy and logic. They might be perceived as nitpicky, while they view themselves as ensuring quality and precision.

The Mirror Effect

Here's the fascinating part: our frustrations with others often reveal more about our own communication style than theirs. When we label someone as "difficult," we're usually encountering a style that conflicts with our natural preferences.

For instance, a Direct Red might find a Stable Green's careful consideration "painfully slow," while the Green sees the Red's quick decisions as "reckless." Neither is wrong – they're just different.?

From Frustration to Appreciation

Instead of wishing everyone would communicate like us, we can:

1. Recognise our own style and its potential impact on others

2. Adapt our communication approach based on our colleague's preferences

3. Appreciate how different styles contribute to team success

The Business Impact

Understanding and adapting to different communication styles isn't just about harmony – it's about business effectiveness. Teams that embrace communication diversity often experience:

- Enhanced problem-solving through diverse perspectives

- Improved project outcomes by leveraging different strengths

- Reduced conflict and increased productivity

- Better customer service through versatile communication approaches

What next??

The next time you feel surrounded by "difficult" people, pause and consider: Are they truly difficult, or just different? Could their approach, though foreign to you, bring value to the team?

Remember, the goal isn't to change others or yourself fundamentally but to build bridges of understanding. In doing so, we create more resilient, innovative, and successful workplace relationships.

As Erikson's work shows us, the key to better workplace relationships isn't about changing others – it's about understanding ourselves and appreciating the unique perspective each person brings.

What communication style differences have you noticed in your workplace? How might understanding these differences change your perspective on "difficult" colleagues?

Better still, read the book and encourage your team to do the same.

#ThomasErikson #Communication #Leadership