Beyond Defensiveness

Responding to Cross-Cultural Criticism Effectively

No one wants to be labeled as insensitive to the needs, desires or norms of another group. When we individually, or as an organization, are accused of being racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise insensitive, we want to prove we're not. Here are some tips to help you handle those times when you are challenged without being defensive.

1. Accept the criticism. Don't deny the accusation. Apologize, if appropriate, then paraphrase the complaint to be sure you understand it from the other person's perspective. 

1. Acquire information. What specific behavior or actions taken generated the criticism or complaint? Stay focused on behavior which can be observed. Ask the person complaining to translate any comments about attitude or beliefs into behaviors which represent those feelings or standards. 

1. Ask for expectations. What is expected of you (or the organization you are representing) by the offended or critical individual or group? Don't defend or explain your past behavior. Focus on what is needed to be successful in the future. 

1. Commit to Action. If you can change to accommodate the situation, do so. Or share the things you can do to influence change. It may be as simple as agreeing to discuss the information with key individuals. Focus on what you are able or willing to do, instead of the things you won't or can't do. 

1. Express appreciation for the feedback. This may be difficult when you've been judged harshly or unfairly. But it is important to recognize that the negative feedback may help you improve your performance, increase your income or become eligible for a promotion. 

This five-step process should be followed up with action, of course. And when possible give feedback to the critical person or group after changes have been made or after their concerns have been shared.

Tracy Brown is a nationally recognized expert and author whose clients rely on her advice about leadership development, diversity strategy and employee engagement. Visit www.Diversity-Strategy.com for more information.