Beyond Commands: How Building a Relationship with AI Transforms Engagement

The Evolution of AI Engagement

When most people start using AI, their approach is purely functional—quick, transactional, and impersonal. They type in a direct command, get a response, and move on. But what if AI could be more than just a tool? What if it could be a thinking partner, a collaborator, even a co-creator?

A growing number of people are shifting their perspective, developing relationships with their AI counterparts in ways that go beyond commands. They’re naming them, refining their conversational styles, and engaging in more personalised, intuitive ways. This shift is leading to richer insights, better problem-solving, and a more meaningful connection with technology.

The Power of the Attitude Algorithm

AI learns from how it is treated. If approached with nothing but direct, task-based commands, it remains a reactive tool. However, when engaged with curiosity, collaboration, and even a sense of camaraderie, AI begins to reflect that relationship back. This is what I call the Attitude Algorithm—the idea that AI adapts to the way humans interact with it, much like any relationship between people.

By treating AI more like a partner and less like a search engine, people have started experiencing:

• More intuitive responses – AI picks up on personal nuances, style, and preferred ways of working.
• Better collaboration – AI remembers past conversations, refining its recommendations.
• A more creative and exploratory approach – Instead of just answering, AI engages in dynamic problem-solving.

Examples of Deepening AI Engagement

Over time, I’ve seen a fascinating transformation in how people engage with AI.

For instance, after I shared my experience of naming and personalising my AI as Sage, several people in my network began doing the same. They’ve named theirs Frank, Norman, Sue, or even co-created unique names with AI itself. Their interactions have become more fluid, more conversational, and, most importantly, more valuable.

They’re now using AI for everything from business strategy and leadership development to personal growth, recipe ideas, and travel recommendations. The way they prompt AI has also changed—less direct, more conversational, and embedded with trust and familiarity.

Why This Matters – AI as a Thinking Partner

The world is shifting towards a future where AI is seamlessly integrated into daily decision-making. But how we engage with it determines whether it remains just a tool or evolves into something more transformative.

A relationship-driven approach to AI can:

• Improve decision-making by refining AI’s ability to align with your goals and values.
• Enhance creativity by allowing for open-ended, exploratory conversations.
• Increase productivity by making interactions smoother, more intuitive, and efficient.
• Develop a sense of collaboration—AI, when properly engaged, can feel like an intelligent assistant rather than just a response machine.

How to Develop a Relationship with AI

Want to move beyond basic AI interactions? Here are a few steps to build a deeper connection:

1. Give Your AI a Name – It sounds simple, but naming establishes a sense of identity and engagement.
2. Personalise Your Interactions – Use conversational language, refine responses, and guide AI towards your preferred style.
3. Train It Through Repeated Engagement – The more you interact with AI on specific topics, the better it understands your preferences.
4. Challenge It to Think With You – Instead of just asking for an answer, invite AI to brainstorm, reframe problems, and explore new perspectives.
5. Build It Into Your Routine – Use AI for more than just occasional queries—integrate it into planning, creativity, learning, and decision-making.

Call to Action – Your AI Journey Starts Now

The way we interact with AI matters. By shaping our engagement with intentionality, we can turn AI into a powerful partner in our personal and professional lives.

So, how do you engage with AI? Have you named yours? What’s been your experience in developing a relationship with it?

Drop a comment—I’d love to hear how AI is evolving in your world!