Beyond the Clock: Striking the Balance Between Work, Family, and Self-Care

Every now and then, as professionals, we find ourselves teetering on the tightrope of work and personal life, striving to maintain our balance. (Although it seems more often than not lately) The scene might be a familiar one: the glow of the laptop screen late into the night, the pitter-patter of little feet in the background, a half-eaten dinner getting cold on the table. We're working hard, clocking in those extra hours, driven by our relentless pursuit of growth and success. But as we immerse ourselves in this fervor, a crucial question lingers in the air: What is the legacy we leave behind?

Fast forward twenty years, and it's the memories of these times that will be etched in the minds of your children. The narrative we craft through our actions today becomes the tapestry of their childhood memories tomorrow. This narrative underscores the importance of both quantity and quality in the time we spend with our loved ones. It's about being there—truly present—in the pivotal moments, and consistently showing up even in the small, seemingly mundane ones.

There will be moments when your children will reflect on the evenings when your chair at the dinner table was empty, or when you couldn't make it to their school events. These instances underscore the significance of quantity—of being there, of showing up. As Brene Brown, a renowned researcher and storyteller, once said, "We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions" (Brown, 2010). Similarly, we cannot selectively choose our presence in our children's lives. The volume of time we commit to our families can often be as crucial as the quality of that time, because these moments, when pieced together, form the backdrop of their childhood memories.

However, within this narrative, there's also a strong current of resilience and commitment that is being communicated. Your children will remember the unwavering dedication you displayed in those late-night work sessions, your strong work ethic, and your relentless pursuit of growth. This is where quality shines through—through the strength of your character, the lessons you impart, and the values you uphold.

Research conducted by Professor Adam Grant, a leading expert in organizational psychology, provides evidence that role modeling is a powerful method of influencing behavior (Grant, 2014). Our children observe and absorb our actions, attitudes, and values. When they witness us working hard, embracing challenges, and remaining committed even in the face of obstacles, they learn important lessons about resilience, dedication, and the pursuit of excellence.

A crucial part of this narrative is the practice of self-care. As professionals, it's paramount that we not only preach the importance of self-care but model it. This includes setting boundaries, prioritizing mental and physical wellness, and taking time to recharge. When we embody these practices, we teach our children a valuable lesson—that taking care of oneself is not a luxury, but a necessity. This is a lesson they will carry with them long into their adult lives.

The importance of self-care is further underscored by research. A 2018 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that self-care activities were associated with higher levels of happiness and well-being (Routledge, 2018). By prioritizing self-care, we not only enhance our own wellness but also serve as role models of health and happiness for our children. Isn't that all we want for our children in the end.. that they are happy and healthy?

Ultimately, the goal is to strike a balance, to find a blend of work-life that fits not just our professional ambitions but also our personal commitments. It's about investing time—lots of it—into our relationships while also maintaining the quality of our work and our well-being. In this balancing act, we can leave a legacy that's not only successful but also meaningful and fulfilling.

Ellen Galinsky's groundbreaking 1999 study reveals that children are far more likely to feel important and loved when their time with their parents is calm and unhurried. It also emphasizes that children who spend more time with their mothers and fathers perceive their parents as more successful at managing work and family responsibilities. And most importantly, when children feel their parents can focus on them, they see their parents in a positive light and feel that their parents prioritize family over work.

Weaving this research into our narrative, it's clear that both the quantity and quality of our time with our children form the bedrock of their perception of us. By striking a balance between our professional commitments and personal lives, we can create a legacy that is not only successful but also meaningful and fulfilling. It's important to remember that this equilibrium is not a static state but a dynamic one. As we evolve in our professional and personal lives, so should the nature of this balance. Our capacity to adapt to these changes will greatly influence our ability to create a positive legacy for our children.

But how can we ensure that we are in a position to adapt as things change, like our careers, over time? How can we ensure that we have the capacity to provide both the quality and the quantity of time with our children, while also meeting our professional commitments? The answer lies again, in the practice of self-care and self-awareness.

When we prioritize our own self-care, we teach our children the importance of taking care of themselves. We demonstrate to them that self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity. We show them that it's important to invest in ourselves, to maintain our physical and mental health, and to ensure that we are in a position to meet our various commitments, and most of all to understand our own strengths and weaknesses.

Striking a balance between our professional ambitions and our personal commitments is an ongoing challenge, I get it! It's not as simple as I may be implying. It requires us to be present, both in our work and in our time with our loved ones. It calls for us to prioritize both the quantity and quality of the time we spend with our families. And, perhaps most importantly, it necessitates a commitment to our own self-care and self-awareness.

As we navigate this delicate balancing act, it's crucial to remember that our ultimate goal is not just to leave a successful legacy, but a meaningful one. We want to create memories that our children will cherish, not just of a parent who was successful at work, but also of a parent who was present in their lives, who taught them valuable lessons, and who demonstrated through their actions the importance of self-care and balance. By doing so, we can ensure that we leave a legacy that is not only successful, but also deeply lasting.

In the words of the beloved singer-songwriter, Dolly Parton, “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life” .