Beyonce Was Right: You Gotta Find Your Way Back

Ever notice how Beyoncé said, “You gotta find your way back,” and we all nodded along—but did we actually think about what we’re finding our way back to? Is it our purpose? Our dreams? Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the kid we used to be before life got complicated.

Because here’s the thing: Little you—the kid with the big dreams, awkward moments, and occasional meltdowns—didn’t just disappear. They’re still running the show in ways you might not even realize. And if you’re leading a team, a business, or even just yourself, it might be time to sit down with your inner child and have a long, overdue conversation.

This week’s Ask Dr. Golden dove into this very topic, and the question that started it all was: "What does it look like to lead with vulnerability in a world that often expects perfection?"

Spoiler alert: It’s messy. But it’s also powerful, transformative, and exactly what we need as we head into 2025.

The Inner Child’s Role in Leadership

Let's keep it real: The things you struggled with as a kid? They didn’t magically vanish when you got older. They just put on a suit and started showing up at meetings.

• That fear of rejection you felt in third grade when your class laughed at your painting? That’s why you hesitate to pitch bold ideas at work.
• The trust issues from when someone broke a promise to you as a kid? That’s why you micromanage now.
• The household where “keeping the peace” meant staying silent? That’s why you avoid tough conversations with your team.

Sound familiar? It should. We’re all walking around with little versions of ourselves, influencing our choices and behaviors. And until we acknowledge them, we’re leading with old wounds instead of new wisdom.

Three Fears That Hold Leaders Back

Let’s get specific. Here are the three most common fears tied to our inner child—and how they show up in leadership:

• Fear of Rejection Remember being the kid who dared to be different? Maybe you brought something to the table—an idea, a project, a painting—and got laughed at or dismissed. That sting sticks with you.

For me, it was a painting I proudly shared in class, only to have my classmates laugh and my teacher send me to the principal’s office for being off-topic. That experience lingered. It taught me to second-guess my creativity and seek validation in all the wrong places.

Today, I remind myself: Rejection is just redirection. Leaders can’t afford to stay quiet out of fear. If you’ve got a Beyoncé-level idea for your team, bring it to the table—even if it doesn’t land the way you hope.

• Difficulty Trusting Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that trusting others is risky. Maybe it was a broken promise, a family split, or losing someone close to us. Whatever the origin, the result is the same: micromanagement, control, and burnout.

But here’s the truth: Great leaders delegate. They empower their teams to rise. And that starts with healing the part of you that learned not to trust.

• Fear of Conflict This one’s personal. For much of my career, I avoided conflict like the plague. I thought staying silent was the compassionate thing to do. Spoiler: It’s not.

Avoiding conflict doesn’t keep the peace; it delays progress. Leaders must address tough topics with courage and clarity—not with the baggage of a kid who got scolded for speaking out.

Tips for Leaders: Healing the Inner Child

Ready to do the work? Here are three practical steps to start healing the leader within:

1. Recognize Your Triggers: When fear, hesitation, or frustration show up, pause. Ask yourself, “Is this about what’s happening now, or is it tied to something from my past?”
2. Journal Your Journey: Write about a childhood experience that shaped your beliefs about rejection, trust, or conflict. What did you need in that moment? How can you give that to yourself now?
3. Practice Vulnerability: Share your reflections with a trusted mentor, therapist, or colleague. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s a bridge to connection and growth.

Lead Like the Kid You Were

This isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. When we heal the leader within, we don’t just show up stronger; we show up realer.

Your inner child has wisdom to offer, and your future self has room to grow. So, as we prepare for 2025, let’s commit to leading with intention, compassion, and self-awareness. Let’s be the leaders we needed when we were kids.

And most importantly, let’s stop pretending we have it all figured out. The truth? Nobody does. But when we lead with love—for our teams, our communities, and the little versions of ourselves—we create a world where everyone has the chance to heal and thrive.

Be Honest. Be Open. Be In-Tune.

Be Healed.

Dr. Golden