Beware the False Profits

I don’t usually write about things I strongly disagree with; I’m a big believer in celebrating what you love versus bashing what you don’t, but sometimes we have to call attention to things in our industry that are problematic and we need to discuss. One of those things that I have a deep personal concern and pet peeve about are the number of presenters, trainers, and consultants who are hopping aboard the affirmative consent train singing the praises of Title IX and SAPR (Sexual Assault Prevention and Response) all with big dollar signs in their eyes. I also see this the other industry I’m a part of- diversity and inclusion. Both are such hot topics that people who are looking to make a quick dollar are using these incredibly vital and sensitive discussions for their own personal gain.

Consent and violence prevention are all about deconstruction abusive power and control dynamics- and yet I can list a dozen conversations I have had with colleagues about how certain "leaders" in this field seem to want all the power and control themselves. I cannot tell you how many times I have met extremely aggressive people who argue with me sun up till sundown that they should be the face of their movement on their campus or military base. They want to make sure it’s their name that is attached to everything to do with the topic. Personally, I am a big fan of servant leadership and letting the people I’m working for- a.k.a my students or team members- have the spotlight. Because so many people know that this is the hot topic of the moment they put their foot down and say they need to be the one who is known. 

This isn’t just obnoxious it can be straight up dangerous! One of the things I’ve noticed in particular around the people who seek power and control concerning their voice being amplified in the consent conversation are people who don’t serve as actual subject matter experts. Sure they might use the term on themselves, but if you did some digging, you would see that they don’t have any semblance of a solid educational foundation in the arena. 

Now I’m not saying that people can’t gain knowledge and understanding in other ways, but if they don’t have the qualifications of formal education, research, curriculums design, advocacy, then there will be huge gaps in their understanding. Even for those who may have done similar work such as being a guidance counselor, writer, therapist or lawyer their training may still be significantly lacking in the more complex and sticky parts of this topic.

I have seen time and time again where the people who want the spotlight can put on a great show and can perform the part but blank or make vital errors when posed with the truly challenging questions. They think that they’re prepared to go in and show off but the reality is that their having a few conversations with actual subject matter experts or reading a few books or articles does not prepare you to competently answer all of the different questions or work with all of the communities that are affected by these conversations.

I have heard some of these people say homophobic or transphobic slurs, make analogies that compare sexual violence to borrowing someone’s car, not be able to answer the questions that are sexually explicit (but appropriate), and inform students on how to avoid getting caught if they do assault somebody. From benevolent sexism to erotophobia, there are a million landmines in the conversation around consent and sexual misconduct. One of the most critical pieces of doing this work and eradicating this problem is assuring we don’t hire celebrities or showman to facilitate these dialogues but instead academic professionals with an in-depth understanding of the pedagogical and social structures that surround this subject matter. I am all for a great speaker, and it’s essential to hire people that engage the audience, but above all, we cannot sacrifice expertise for a colorful distraction when it comes down to this imperative topic.

Below are three tips before hiring a speaker for your event:

1. What are their actual qualifications? Do they have a formal education that gives them a foundation for expertise specifically in this field or are they reaching? This includes survivors who may have a remarkable personal story to share but without training on the deeper parts of their topic may make statements that are biased or even prejudice thus defeating the purpose of their message.

2. Can they communicate with diverse audiences? I have seen presenters who can only speak to straight or cisgender audiences. I have seen others who can only address audiences who come from a similar racial or social background. The more diverse your audience, the more competent your speaker must be in understanding their own explicit and implicit bias.

3. Do they push the conversation forward? Too many speakers have the same canned talking points that sound good and can be tied with a neat little bow on top but lack the ability to help people to change or examine their behaviors. Are they pushing the field forward and bringing the conversation to the next level? It is important when you hire someone to make sure that transformation is part of their goals and objectives- a point which goes right into their level of expertise.

I hope this has been helpful. We can’t mix words or try to be polite when it comes to the importance of what we are saying and projecting around consent. As the children's song says "be careful little eyes with you see, be careful little ears what you hear," you can’t undo a poor presentation or risk missing the mark in your messaging. The damage that can be done may be irreversible. Choose your messengers wisely and above all do not be afraid to ask questions.