BEWARE OF NON-EXPERIENCES? You Don't Know What You Don't Know

Written by SONIA L. ARANZA, 25-Year Veteran in Diversity, Equity & Inclusion

Growing up in Hawaii and shielded from overt racism, I will never forget a conversation I had here on the mainland, the continental United States, with a friend who grew up in North Carolina. She shared a childhood memory about traveling a great distance on special holidays to visit relatives in Tennessee. The long trip took several hours by car. She recalls that on the day before departure, her mother would cook a lot of good food. On their trip from North Carolina to Tennessee, they would have a car picnic. She had me at picnic! I was enthralled! As I sat enchanted listening to her story, she looked at me with sadness and said, “Yeah, I used to like the car picnics until I caught on. I learned how to read. The reason why we were having car picnics is because the restaurants had signs that read: No Blacks Allowed.” Wow. Eye-opening. I have not lived the life of a Black Person. That's when I coined the term 'Non-Experience' to examine my own lenses.

It turns out that we have a lot of Non-Experiences. Why is that? One life cannot possibly contain the lived experiences of so many others. Non-Experiences include anything you have not lived. Racial discrimination. Anti-immigrant sentiment. Minority sexual-orientation. Poverty. Tragedy. Minority religion. Physical Disability. Mental Disability. Death of a loved-one. There are many more. One way to explore your own Non-Experience is to do a bit of self-inquiry. Reflect on the situations that other humans go through and make a list of the ones you have not experienced. You will produce a list that will heighten your awareness to potential blind spots. Take English as a second language, for example. If you never had to learn another language as though your life depended on it, it's easy to scoff at those who do not speak English the way you think they ought to. With this awareness, a bit of humility and empathy, you might be a little bit more patient as though you were in the other person’s shoes, trying to adopt a new language at the same time you are trying to simply survive.

Non-Experiences impact how we interpret the world around us. Take “Black Lives Matter” as an example. Many well-intentioned people with racial discrimination as a Non-Experience say, “Shouldn’t all lives matter?” Non-Experiences become part of the lenses through which we see. What should we do to address our non-experiences? WE NEED TO ADVANCE OUR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT LIVES WE HAVE NOT LIVED. As a non-black person, I had to learn the origins of “Black Lives Matter.” In February 2012, a white man named George Zimmerman shot and killed an African-American teenager named Treyvon Martin. After Zimmerman's acquittal, the #BlackLivesMatter movement began in 2013 with the hashtag on social media. It was founded by three African-American women named Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi AND the work of other key individuals. #BlackLivesMatter has nothing to do with my life or anyone else's life mattering less!  Allow me to share a personalized example. My beloved friend Joy died of pancreatic cancer. When I participate in marches and fundraisers in her honor to find a cure for pancreatic cancer, it does not mean the other cancers do not matter. It simply means that at the moment, my focus is on pancreatic cancer.

Non-Experience is a form of unconscious bias. We don’t know what we don’t know. As we engage with others in our personal and professional lives, we have to become aware of how Non-Experiences cause blind spots. As leaders, the implications are grave. Non-Experiences inform our decision-making. Let’s ADVANCE OUR KNOWLEDGE and shed light on our Non-Experiences. We are all at different stages of our development. However, no one is so evolved as to not benefit from deeper self-inquiry and deeper inner-journey. Let’s shine a light on our Non-Experiences. It might just enhance our ability to engage effectively and empathetically across differences.

 Sonia Aranza is an accomplished Global Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Strategist with 25 years experience. Her clients include Boeing, CIA, McDonald’s, NASA, Oshkosh Corporation, Schreiber Foods and more. She has conducted numerous executive sessions for senior leaders including the Director of the CIA, Director of National Intelligence and CEOs of major corporations. Respected Diversity Expert featured in HR Magazine, Ms. Aranza was selected to execute congressionally mandated Diversity training for government executives across the United States. She was also selected to execute Unconscious Bias training for corporations on several landmark cases.