Between Two Worlds: Managing Your Return to Italy for the Holidays

Main Idea: Returning home for the holidays is a highlight of the year. What happens if you start to feel like a foreigner in your own country?

“Mamma, sono tornata!” you yell as you enter your home in Italy. You are ready to embrace your loved ones and your life that you have missed for so long.? But you soon start feeling a little like a foreigner in your own land.? If so, don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are likely experiencing what is known as “Reverse Culture Shock.”

Understanding Reverse Culture Shock

There’s nothing quite as unsettling as feeling like a foreigner in your own country.? It can feel like you did when you first arrived in the USA.? You might experience some emotional and psychological stress trying to readjust to the Italian culture and its values after being in the USA for so long.? It can take a while to overcome reverse culture shock.? And you are there just for vacation, likely not enough time to reach that “readjustment” stage.

Reverse Culture Shock can happen to anyone, and if you talk enough to people who have lived abroad and then come home for a visit, you’ll learn that most of us have experienced this to some degree or another.? It can be challenging.? Below are some common frustrations that you may experience.

Common Frustrations You May Experience

Feeling Out of Place

Reverse Culture Shock might make you feel like you just don’t “fit in” like you used to before.? It’s subtle and upsetting.? For example, you may accidentally offer a handshake or just nod instead of instinctively giving hugs or two kisses like you used to before. You don't know why you hesitated. Understanding that this is normal can help.?

Or you might start questioning or losing patience with bureaucracies and noticing inefficiencies that you hadn’t really noticed before, making you feel irritated and frustrated.

What to Do:

Acknowledge Your Growth: Recognize that you’ve changed and grown through your time in the U.S. Feeling different is a sign of that growth.

Be Patient with Yourself: Reintegrating takes time, and it’s normal to feel like you’re “between cultures.” You may just not have enough time on this trip to “get there.”

Engage Fully: Immerse yourself in the Italian traditions and norms, even if they feel unfamiliar. This can help rekindle your sense of belonging.

Having Trouble Slowing Down

Americans are obsessed with time compared to Italians.? You’ve been around a “go-go-go” mentality for months or years now. Errands and processes that are streamlined in the U.S. might take more time in Italy. ? Returning to Italy, especially during the holidays, can make you feel like you are quickly hitting the brakes on your car when you want to keep going fast.

What You Can Do:

Try to appreciate the leisurely pace, good “slow food” cooking and all the wonderful aspects of enjoying time with others. Focus on connecting with loved ones over the American fixation on efficiency.

Forgetting about Productivity

In the U.S., we just can’t stop thinking about being productive, even if it is just getting through a daily “to do” list. In contrast, Italy’s culture prioritizes family, leisure, and traditions, especially around the holidays.

You might feel tension between your American-inspired drive to stay productive and Italy’s expectation to fully disconnect and celebrate. You might also feel a small sense of guilt from not working, despite the fact that your Italian friends are all embracing the holiday season and time off.

What You Can Do:

Reframe this time as a chance to recharge. Lean into Italy’s approach to balance and reflect on how it might benefit you long-term.? Honestly, nothing boosts your productivity like being recharged anyway, so embrace that down time if productivity is your concern.

Language Challenges

You never thought it could happen, but you might find that you are struggling to find the right Italian word.? You may?replace an Italian word with an English one because it feels quicker or more natural.? Then you notice the puzzled look on your Italian listener’s face and you realize something went wrong.

You might even find you start “code-switching.”? This is when you start mixing both languages in a single conversation.? It can feel unsettling and it happens before you even realized what you said.

What You Can Do:

Embrace the Mix:? You have grown a bicultural identity.? Rather than feel embarrassed, recognize how you have grown, and when appropriate, explain the unfamiliar term to your Italian listener.

Slow Down:? Between jet lag and the two languages, you might need some more time to process and formulate your thoughts.? Slowing your speech can help you find the right words.

All of these challenges can make you feel sad or frustrated realizing how much you’ve adapted to the American way of life.? Reflect on your feelings and view them as examples of your amazing adaptability.? Your ability to navigate two cultures is a strength that can enrich both your personal and your professional life.

Reverse Culture Shock can be upsetting and surprising if you are unaware of it.? Acknowledge what is happening to you and be patient with yourself.?

Now it is the moment to enjoy your time with friends and family, both here and in Italy.

Buone feste!

If you are a native Italian speaker who wants to be more confident and effective in communicating professionally in the USA, send me a DM on LinkedIn.? We can discuss your goals and develop a plan to help you reach your full potential through improved communication and cultural awareness. You can also check out my website at: www.effectiveenglish.us